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D( G &( +(+ H+++Ѐ H<"C+@Bh"+"Gh"+G"h"+G"hF!'  )GCh"+B`G"p. #+ @@ @C) pG[B %@WFFFchh&iF'(:IJ4+CO&JI@1@ C KhFˆ@K9@ CÀSFy#@ CqFFG (Q (%&3+C+Рh9JB=8*"%&#)@") #$fA1KB'1* C4 *р"R+@$#C+Ѐ#$#F#@;4@+@#C+#F1(P$CFC&C#BO%&qK)#@")#$fAKBj Ct&71* C4 R*р"R+@$#C+Ѐ#$h"+"Gh"+G"h"+G"DhhjF ӈ[Y y %{`))'JB&J(`#;`3C)"M#N 4C`a#;`p k( pG b((g( b(`hkh(Y(kh+D P(ch+<(Q( L($(G( B(kh+#nhchBѪhhBܚB.б(i!iB؈B ЁB؁B hhBhhB. @Bh"+"Gh"+G"h"+G"GBAGI Build: v1.01 (2004/02/01)No AGI Game embedded in ROM!NO_NAMEGBAGI 1.0 '''BRIPRO'''Select a GameInformationAbout GBAGI GBAGI The Nintendo Game Boy Advance Sierra Adventure Game Interpreter By Brian ProvincianoHIMQPOKGhifcbadgCloseView ItemItemsSee ObjectInventoryYour inventory is empty.!"9"}"u#5#"#"]pp8||8??????            $ $ $ $ ( ( ( ( !, !, !, !, $0 $0 $0 $0 '4 '4 '4 '4 *8*8*8*8-<-<-<-<0@0@0@0@3D3D3D3D6H6H6H6H9L9L9L9L<P<P<P<P?T?T?T?TBXBXBXBXE\E\E\E\H`H`H`H`KdKdKdKdNhNhNhNhQlQlQlQlTpTpTpTpWtWtWtWtZxZxZxZx]|]|]|]|` ` ` ` c!c!c!c!f"f"f"f"i#i#i#i#l$l$l$l$o%o%o%o%r&r&r&r&u'u'u'u'Score:%d of %don Sound:%soff c c,c c-o < k-<=o< =c,c\c-c]o,l,k] .c>g?o=oo?c-c].^o-kn-^=cn>gooNmo/ooo o,o o-{ < {-<=< =kn~ , - =s w.ok=k>{=w>k-k].^{-wnw.^sNknkOsoN{n{/{o<=MosNk-]g.^=w]^cn<}k=kn]}c^~]}>~=>kNkkOg.c^c/_>o^o_=mg?go=~>so^~_w_~?ooMooN]N=]>w_>]_~ -oo/ >w{/>o?>?=mo?oo=~>w^~__~? 9`MKHPicag @P` `MKHPeval.zequalnequalvlessnlessvgreaterngreatervissetissetvhasobj.in.roomposncontrollerhave.keysaidcompare.stringsobj.in.boxcenter.posnright.posnKqlK}l$Kl,Kl4KmLchcccccd8dlddddd xDmdŅCTR<PmDŅCR<XmDŅC>0\mDŅCjf8`m ŅCd8`m ŅC>6Ņ xhmDE7Elmtm|mmmmmmtmdF4mDF4nDFJ n F ``9Fn4IH(HoDIH(LoDIH(PoDIH<ToDIHu4LLL0rPJ@M@MHMHMPMPMXMXM`M`MhMhMpMpMxMxMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNN N N(N(N0N0N8N8N@N@NHNHNPNPNXNXN`N`NhNhNpNpNxNxNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOO O O(O(O0O0O8O8O@O@OHOHOPOPOXOXO`O`OhOhOpOpOxOxOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPP P P(P(P0P0P8P8P@P@PHPHPPPPPXPXP`P`PhPhPpPpPxPxPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPQQQQQQQQ Q Q(Q(Q0Q0Q8Q8QGBAGI 1.0 '''BRIPRO'''AGi Leisure Suit Larryp   4*)6  r<=>?@ABCDEF EGHI JKLMN O P`)QRS TU!V"EW  m_3 *+ +mgm2 45 M*M'&'4M E$ % 1   m  +m     )!  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You toss back the shot of cheap booze, then dramatically break the glass on the floor!What's a Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards by Al Lowe Ver 1.00 6/1/87 Thanks for playing "Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards." You screwed up this game, but you can probably do better. Come on, let's do it just one more time!Since you're dead... all you can do is restore a saved game or start over.You have $%v90.00.You don't have it.Sorry, this is a real-time game!%m11%m100%v117 hours, %v116 minutes and %v115 seconds. %m11%m100%v116 minutes and %v115 seconds. You find your leisure suit very stylish, but empty.You have no need to take it.Where!?You might need it."Hi."Following your conviction for bestiality, you spend the rest of your life in prison, turning big rocks into little ones!"You're welcome.""Same to you!"%v119:%v116|2:%v115|2 "'Bye."Fastest%m36Fast%m36Normal%m36Slow%m36 speed.Once you tasted it, you wouldn't want it!Without thinking, you down the entire bottle. Hey, this stuff is ok! Your breathing becomes heavy, and you're suddenly extremely horny! You've just got to do something, and right NOW! Hey, where's that cute, black dog?Wouldn't you rather just remain friends?Don't whine!Funny, no response.It doesn't look interesting.You see nothing special.It's just as it appears.How can you do that?It's of no use.You don't need it.There's no reason to take it.Just walk there.Oh, %w1, %w1, %w1! Doesn't anybody _____ anymore?%m53?%m53 %w3?What would you do with the %w2How can you use that which you do not have?You're not close enough.You already have it.Ok.That comes later.Sierra About LarryHelp -----------Calculator Puzzle File Save Restore -------------Restart Quit Action Inventory See Object Bodily Function Special Sound On/Off Graphics Mode Joystick Clock On/Off Pause Game Speed Normal Slow Fast Fastest Change Boss Key You've been playing for Psssft. Psssft.Ahhh.Yep, it's a door!Watch it, Larry. You're going to get your face slapped!Now?!Ok. Your thirst is gone, the bottle is empty, and your breath is revolting."Hey, dork! You've got toilet paper stuck to your shoe!""Phew! You smell like a used fire hydrant!"Just a moment, please...2+ 2--- 4 This is about the extent of your mathematical abilities.---------------------| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 || 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 || 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 || 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 ||----|----|----|----|How's this thing work, anyway?Enter function: You quickly turn around, %s11, and feel much better. A hint of a smile crosses your lips.Larry, the whole idea was to stop doing that!do nothingYou talk to yourself, and find you already know what you're going to say.Good idea. You carefully remove and dispose of it properly.You nonchalantly scrape it off.Oh, no! You are now penniless. You hock your leisure suit, and spend the rest of your life on skid row eating discarded fast food.The rest of your story is too sad to tell. Time for a little "R & R," Larry -- Restart or Restore!It smells as bad as you imagined.It's not for using; IT'S A JOKE!!Same to you, buddy!And %w1 %w2 you, too!Yeah, you probably would, too!Tsk, tsk.Ok, but I don't usually do that!You press the button on the remote control and......nothing happens.Wearing the magic ring gives you powers far beyond those of......Oops. Wrong game.Pretty dramatic, eh?It smells good.You can't. There's no key in this game!"Eeeyow! Do something about that breath of yours!""Remember to buy more Sierra three-dimensional, graphic, adventure games!"You might want to read them.Staring at the walls?Climbing the walls already?It just lies there, under your feet.Sierra On-Line, Inc. (209) 683-6858It tastes delicious. But nothing happens.Exactly how would you help?You'd better not. You might get your face slapped!You don't have one.Your mouth tastes like the inside of a motorman's glove!Your breath smells like floor sweepings from a rendering plant.Your breath is enough to take your breath away.Your mouth tastes like the drippings from a marathon runner's sock.It's still up there!It tastes delicious, but what about your acne?Whee!There's no answer. Try opening it.Ha, ha.You find nothing."HELP!""It's about time!!"Well, well. It looks like this month's issue is filled with intelligent, literary articles with redeeming social value.Since your breath sprayer is empty, you toss it away.You used it all, remember.No place in Lost Wages accepts credit cards from the First National Bank of Libya.Obviously, restraint is no problem for you, Larry."Ha, ha!"There's no time!That's an idea; it's just not a good idea!OK, but now it's gone forever!"Hey, thanks a lot!"But, now you'll NEVER get it back!%m182rope.%m182hammer.You have no "Yuck!"No one wants that!Pretty good company, eh?4B? z8*z!CX)+-/6FLU%8#Q8;K!CX)+-/6F%JP#QJo(!CX)+-/6F%Oo#:!CX)+-/6F%T#:!C)+-%$o# !C)+-/6F%i#:!C)+/%&y#F:!)+%X#F8! ) + % g# !! ) + % t# F ! ) % 8# T L UP U U e  G F  404 ! G F / G F / K KAAIKAeFQ8PKQJ(A ::;QgiKA /QRiKA:G+Q1uK eA/<+Q>oKAQNoKA+BA +Q$oK//<A + ;QO(K;QTlKA /TQTt(eA X '(+Hey! You're not alive yet.The Sierra adventure team races to your rescue, dumping your worthless, leisure suit- clad hulk into their giant bit bucket, for recycling into future games. Their underground workshop is humming with activity. This is "Where Adventurers Are Made, Not Born!"Commander Cavin quickly assembles a replacement Larry, while subordinates repair players damaged in other Sierra adventure games.With your new body and ego, you are returned to fight again the battles of Lost Wages! (Now you know what we have to go through every time you press that "Restart" key.)4_ IJb!C)I+/%|#OU K NN ''NN&M'&&'#c4 AeeK& KAAQpKASKAP 0M U)J' ! &+&  &  +&  &  !'/ !BA0$ ") &&&'''&'CA )I#T CA )LUIKAeCA& ")/&&''&'CA e "LVIKA  0L4c4 $dNLNLNNL' OPLarry, when are you gonna learn to stay out of those dark alleys!!"Hey guys!! He's screwed up again! Dump this one down the tubes, and get him another body!"Since you're dead, why are you talking?? Just hang on for the ride.It appears he wants something -- YOU! Get out of here!4TQSRQ!)S+6%9M#4L4 !)R/6%KR#LVF!C)Q6%8S +/LVF+# %ex aa(accCe w U AdC 0 U F,? E)'==h=e&e KAAKKK&K&KKKKKe K AA&e K AA&e K!AA&e KAA&'2'$?'&"AeAe A C &eVeeZe5""eQ< ?>LABC . / ) K 4 5 44 4444c!m"gm v---- =--  B0 mg#mg# #77mjg- !:h! :-!- mk7v.a.-e 8Bv .7.B8Dv--A v-v.-.A $C !mgm!-&.'mgm %g-.--`-.7v-]-Gv--e e 8Gv--EGv--Fv- .-e 8F v-v. -.|@JXfu*7Nefwy{New room:X coordinate:Y coordinate:Object number:Flag number:New value:You gottum, Larry.Variable number:Variable %v45 = %v46Flag %v45 setFlag %v45 not setNew priority:Object %v46 is in room %v45.%v45|3/%v46|3Room %v0|3%v45|2 %o45Number Name of Object%v8 memory pages left.Unknown word: "H 4   )48>EKS\ep|!*5>IR]fqz+8GWcr)3=FQ\cqy $-=P]n} #09@P_lqz$-8GWfo}     & , 4 8 D I T ] b r } incrementdecrementassignnassignvaddnaddvsubnsubvlindirectvrindirectlindirectnsetresettoggleset.vreset.vtoggle.vnew.roomnew.room.vload.logicsload.logics.vcallcall.vload.picdraw.picshow.picdiscard.picoverlay.picshow.pri.screenload.viewload.view.vdiscard.viewanimate.objunanimate.alldrawerasepositionposition.vget.posnrepositionset.viewset.view.vset.loopset.loop.vfix.looprelease.loopset.celset.cel.vlast.celcurrent.celcurrent.loopcurrent.viewnumber.of.loopsset.priorityset.priority.vrelease.priorityget.prioritystop.updatestart.updateforce.updateignore.horizonobserve.horizonset.horizonobject.onWaterobject.on.landobject.on.anythingignore.objsobserve.objsdistancestop.cyclingstart.cyclingnormal.cycleend.of.loopreverse.cyclereverse.loopcycle.timestop.motionstart.motionstep.sizestep.timemove.objmove.obj.vfollow.egowandernormal.motionset.dirget.dirignore.blocksobserve.blocksblockunblockgetget.vdropputput.vget.room.vload.soundsoundstop.soundprintprint.vdisplaydisplay.vclear.linestext.screengraphicsset.cursor.charset.text.attributeshake.screenconfigure.screenstatus.line.onstatus.line.offset.stringget.stringword.to.stringparseget.numprevent.inputaccept.inputset.keyadd.to.picadd.to.pic.vstatussave.gamerestore.gameinit.diskrestart.gameshow.objrandomprogram.controlplayer.controlobj.status.vquitshow.mempauseecho.linecancel.lineinit.joytoggle.monitorversionscript.sizeset.game.idlogset.scan.startreset.scan.startreposition.toreposition.to.vtrace.ontrace.infoprint.atprint.at.vdiscard.view.vclear.text.rectset.upper.leftset.menuset.menu.itemsubmit.menuenable.itemdisable.itemmenu.inputshow.obj.vopen.dialogueclose.dialoguemul.nmul.vdiv.ndiv.vclose.windowequalnequalvlessnlessvgreaterngreatervissetisset.vhasobj.in.roomposncontrollerhave.keysaidcompare.stringsobj.in.boxcenter.posnright.posn4f BYn$8hy 3dDiscardView(%v18):%m30SetView(%v18,_):%m26SetView(_,%v18):%m30SetLoop(%v18,_):%m26SetLoop(%v18,_): Bad loop #.%m25SetLoop(%v18,_):%m31SetCel(%v18,_):%m26SetCel(%v18,_): Bad cel #.%m25Sound(%v18): Sound not loaded.%m25SetCel(%v18,_):%m31Script buffer overflow. Maximum size = %v18%m25Erase(%v18):%m26AnimateObj(%v18):%m26Print(%v18): no message%m25Bad test: %v18%m25Bad action: %v18%m25StartUpdate(%v18):%m28DrawPic(%v18):%m32Draw(%v18):%m26Draw(%v18):%m31DiscardPic(%v18):%m32SetScanStart() already active in logic %v18.%m25Get(%v18) or Put(%v18):%m26 Press ESC to quit.%m27.%m25 Bad object number%m27 or object not drawn.%m25 View not %m29loaded.%m25%m29set.%m25Picture not loaded.%m254%wqmj g gg g g g ggg g gg mjg gg g g g ggg g e` mjg gg )g * g 0g ,&g + g 0g -g.g g g/ mxpk 00bx/Us&KSbLeisure Suit Larry inthe Land of the Lounge LizardsKEYBOARD COMMANDSUse arrows or number keys to moveLarry.Press ESC to use the menus.Press ENTER to choose from a menu,or ESC to return to the game.Some menu choices list a function key"shortcut" beside their name.For a Hint Book, call (209) 683-6858. (For a good time, call the author!)JOYSTICK COMMANDSPoint joystick in desired directionto move Larry.Press top button to use the menus.Press other button to see the statusscreen.MOUSE COMMANDSPut cursor where you want Larry togo, then click the button.Press right button to use menus.Press left button in the windowbar to use menus.Press any key to return to game.go, then click left button.4 *UKLOPb b b!C)U+-6!)K%! ) P/ F   @7<& # &&''&'<  wM U@N@e =@"  FZ = FZ =ee'e'eeee ~X'X'W'W'\X'ej'j'|'e'eeeeee)'ee@M U@ueeee&&$?'$?'$?)= 6de C$ Uw @eee&(')@A#c( S ; :#M UM'4! &&   !!')L)ON UN)KT$ E 44$M Uw%w#c (8 &t&tR&'8[# $)&!&!&&&'Q ' ! &  # $e 2,  @' ! g X $  @@w& # <8R 8O W@O V@ O U/ c (@ / N U@e @e@e' &' e@@f@fO U8R 8@gO WC)' &''&&'#@h@$  2L @) "@ $e @eM U \B%8Yx  3r(Cq&67>[You know, the traffic here is really a killer! You should forget about crossing these streets!"YO!! TAXI!!!"Vowing to hold your breath forever, you enter this miserable excuse for public transportation.It's not very clean.It's not very new.(And those are its good points!)Look out! Here he comes again!Obviously, he thinks you're a fire plug.Dogs like that make you want to keep moving."I can't wait all day, bub!""You'll not ride with me again!"Sick-o!After all he's done for you?He presently smells quite bad, although still better than you."TAXI STAND"It's dark. Real dark.You'd better get out of the street first."BEEP BEEP!"Thousands of cars stream past, just below the edge of your screen.Trust me, they're there!It smells like an old cab.Isn't it funny how there's so little traffic?The glow of the city lights obliterate the stars.As you bend over to do so, his bare teeth convince you otherwise.You shinny up the pole, read the sign, and come right back down.Who'd want him?Where?There is a sign on the pole.44 M]n~n2<{{{<<{<7ydwaw2?xx??ycyKToxnnZee]ll\kZeZf\m`9`9?10F`106-=::LvL:`v`:K>F9`9?=;=E9?106-<9=:~1~EHEIFJGKPKQJRIRGR?Q@PAOANBIBHAGAF@E?EHE>F>G=H=IR>>FDFSFvFzy9:;<==<;3211,,-/02<8-,+*)),88+*)((()*+84)('%%%'+,J@M@N?N>I?I?I>GWGNPNPWGWT]TN`N`]T]c]cNnNn]c]]6]6L6LL]F9F::oo' ni) ~"}z # ! ~ ~ !?!@!pq ~ cbao 9y9_:^:v8y&y&^8^:](]'g8g'p8p'x8x8w'w'_9^9^ ']:\9](](\:\'f8f8e(e'o8o8n(n'x8x8w(wP]PYGYG]O]>;~2w25A5I=Q1RJOJ[XViW dI;@;FE>:=9=8<7<6;5;4:3:291908/8.7-:K=Gsskhh`]]]VSSMLIIA AAHRKK\UUg__rjj153JI ZV  .E(93E,61E*8+E'<+6*7':': ,4+4+5*6)7(7(8'8&9'9&:-3,3.2.G,G2G4G3F2F.F-Feg bm>n@0b2m3s7__mbmemhmkmnmqmtmwmzm}m+--,++)'&(WW^^WW XX]]YY\\ZZ[[W^ ; ;71s1 11t{t655)2)2:{:{-{tH  & cbllbbll~f|{t~w :GXJ}e 2:5:6;7:9::;;:=:>;?:A:B;C:E:F;G:I:J;K:M:N;O:Q:R;S:U:V;W:Y:Z;[:]:^;_:a:b;c:e:f;g:i:j;k:m:n;o:q:r;s:u:v;w:y:z;J6 1t1)1t{t{.gqjll {%{-1 11 1{% Lts ` 1191:{${; 1G{G2fzfv<>F>J>f>j>s:<:G:J:e:j:t6<6G6J6f6j6s414345347989),.,-+,,-++*Z]_^bedaZ]^\]_^`_a``bca ^deeba__^^^_ad_^]da0 ,-.--,,,,-,2--00/220(&)((&)_[[X[\ ,})|(y)w*w)z*z+z*{,|2z4x7y5z2z4y5yCuAtAqCqBrBtCtDsCsCrCpBp{t1t3o{oWr4$"! 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It's your breath spray.4@&OLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAQsqQAArQqQQAAQqRAAqqsQAARqrQrqRQAArQrUAAQtQTQAATqTAAQQAARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOLWhy is this stuff in every adventure game?4&OKAAAAvAAAAAAAAxAAAAAAAAAyAAA qAAA qAAq AAAqrrqAAAqqrrAAAqrrAAAqrrqAAAqqrrAAAq AAAq AAAqqqqAAAqrrrAAAq AAAqqqqAAAqrrrAAAq AAAqqqqAAAqrrrAAA AAA AAAAAAAAAAAAxAAAAAAAAAvAAAAAOKGee, a genuine BowlX! At least the time is accurate -- it's %v119:%v116|2.4t&OLAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAbAAaAAbAACaCAABAaEAAABBAABBEAAAIAAAIAAAIAAAIAAAJAABJAABJAAMAALAAKAAKAAIAAIAAEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOLThis Red Delicious is not suitable for your Granny Smith, but someone else might find it appropriate.4A&OLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaAAaaAA2aaAA2aaAAbbAAaAAaAAbAAaAAbAAaAAbAAaAAbAAbAAdAAcAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOLWhen you gaze deep into the diamond, you seem to hear the sound of wedding bells, and maybe diesel trucks.4@&OLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaAAbAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOLThere is a strong odor of petroleum by-products coming from this glass.4&OLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABAAAAAAAABAAAAAqAArAAsAAtAAtAAtAAtAAtAAtqAAtrAAtrAAwAAuAAsAAAAAAAAAAAAAOLOperating on the principle of line-of-sight infrared trans- mission, the remote control baffles you completely. Although it appears to do nothing, aiming it at your groin while rapidly changing channels does make you feel quite silly.42&OLA AA AA AA AA AAAADAAAAADAAA DAAA !EAAA !EAA !!DAA "CAA "! AA ! AA ! AA ! AA !AA ! AA!" AA!" AAAA!AA!AAAA!AA!AA!AA!AA AA AA AA AA AA AOLA rose, is a rose, is a rose.4&OLAAAAAAAAAAA~AA~AAsqtAAtrqAArƁqAAqDrAArAArAArArAAqAAqAAqAqAAqAqAAqAqAAqAqAAAqAAqAqAAqAqAArAqAArAqAAqqArAAqqsAAtātAAtqsAAswrAA~AA AA AAAAAAAAAAAOLThese are more fun to use than to look at!4JAsk all you want to, you're NOT gonna see that mess!4%&OLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAԲAAԲQAAԲRAAԲSAAԲTAAԲTAAԲTAAԲTAAUXAAUWAAUVAAUUAAՒAA AA AA AA AA AAAAAAAAAAAOLCandy makes the perfect present.4b:&OLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEBAAAAAAAEAAABBAAIHAAACAAFEAAAIAAAB AAAHEAAABBBAAHAAAAAAAAAOBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOLYour mind reels with the possibilities!4'&OLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARAASAASAASAASAASAASAASAASAASAASAASAATAA_AA_AA]AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOLThe passcard reads: "Lost Wages Disco Admit One Member and Guest Remember: every Monday is Ladies Night!"4~&OLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaAAAAAqAAAAAAAqAAAqAAAqAAAqAAAqAAAqAAAqAAAqAAqAqAAAqAAAAqAABqAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOL5 blades, 7 attachments, 3 screwdrivers, 2 saws, a toothpick, a tweezer, plus MORE... much, MUCH more!!4tG&OLA AA AA AA AA AA $ AA AA #AA "!AA "AA$AA&AA&AA(AA(AA(AA(AA$AA$AA$AA$AA$AA$AA$AA$eAA(AA(AA(AA(AA'AAAA AA AA AA AA AOLYou seriously question this wine's heritage.4&OLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!AAC!AAC!AAAA!AAaBa!AAAAa!AAaa!AA!aAa!AA!a!AA!AAa!AA!Ba!AA!aaAA!aAAa!AACAA!AB!AAA"AAAAAA!AAAA!AA!A!AA!A!AA!A!AAAAAAAAAOLLet's see now... 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4B%,?=?? ? ?4[FMT'>'?'4d#      2/.. 4'%  %% H     $!189:#!   # # 07/ <          4                                                          # 22220202123 42   >  5   `4KsI!   +      C      A"  + >4)?q & 0 Uw b*+,'()&!C)++%!)'/6FOV%),+c4Az*z*$z*.$z* WCK1 KAA#Q$^KAQ^K#QPKAgg+-QKA$A$i%)^#CA/)r+#Qd^KAQ^K+#Q2KA +-QKA $A $)$)(/%5P#C A /ATCA $z)D;z)CA z&@TCA 4A c4K*Adventure Game Development System(C) 1987 by Sierra On-Line, Inc.4  e<`k5``````L^`^`^`^`^`^_^ eE^`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]` ]` ]` ]` ]` ]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]` ]`!]`"]`#]`$]`%]`&]`']`(]`)]`*]`+]`,]`-]`.]`/]`0]`1]`2]`3]`4]`5]_#igBf```5 _C_Yxwi f`gC@E adc(\\`:<:\! h! :_CEz3wIYb m 2 - o ' 6lKklY)+-/1_Johnny Carson is a. a singer. b. David Letterman's sidekick. c. Ed McMahon's sidekick. d. an actor.VCR stands for a. Very Confusing Record. b. Visual Cartridge Recording. c. Very Complete Record. d. Video Cassette Recorder.The East Coast is a. home of the Mets. b. a country. c. where people talk funny. d. adjacent to Texas.Is this software pirated? a. Yes. b. I'm not talking. c. No. (How could you even ask!) d. No, just borrowed.Pia Zadora is a. sexy. b. a singer. c. short. d. all of the above.The world is a. flat. b. spherical. c. a big place. d. near Fresno."Let It Be" was recorded by a. the Rolling Stones. b. the Monkees. c. Creedence Clearwater. d. the Beatles.All politicians are a. hardworking. b. honest. c. ethical. d. on the public payroll.Lingerie is a. sexy. b. a kind of car. c. a French food. d. edible.Paul, John, Ringo and a. Fred. b. George. c. Harry. d. me.Do girls really have cooties? a. Yes. b. No. c. Some do, some don't. d. Maybe.Which song was not recorded by Elvis? a. "Hound Dog" b. "Love Me Tender" c. "What'd I Say" d. "Heartbreak Hotel"Edsel is a a. girl's name. b. plane. c. car. d. great investment.Sex is a. great. b. ok. c. a spectator sport. d. a mystery to me.Richard Nixon was the _____ President of the United States. a. last b. funniest c. thirty-seventh d. first NegroDuring the 70's, Carroll O'Connor portrayed a a. kindly doctor. b. lovable bigot. c. handicapped lawyer. d. Negro junk dealer.The song "American Pie" was about a. miscegenation. b. Marilyn Chambers. c. a dead rock star. d. four minutes too long.Thomas Eagleton was dropped from the 1972 Democratic National Ticket when knowledge of his previous _____ treatments became known. a. skin b. screen c. shock d. scalpThe 70's practice of running around naked was called a. flashing. b. streaking. c. swinging. d. on account of rain.Peter Benchley's novel "Jaws" was about a. Linda Lovelace. b. dieting. c. Joan Rivers. d. sharks.Who was not Vice-President of the United States in 1973-74? a. Gerald Ford b. Nelson Rockefeller c. Thomas Hayden d. Spiro AgnewThe "Chicago Seven" was a. some people who only seem crazy in retrospect. b. the Bears' defensive line. c. burned for showing "Country" in three different theatres. d. partially convicted.President Ford prescribed _____ for dealing with economic problems. a. tranquilizers b. employment c. that everyone wear a WIN button d. that everyone should have a nice dayThe tackiest seventies fashion was a. platform shoes. b. midi-skirts. c. short hair. d. bisexuality.O. J. Simpson is a. an R & B singer. b. under indictment. c. embarrassed by his first name (Olivia). d. no one to fool with.Angela Davis is a. the middle Pointer Sister. b. a failed politician. c. an example of split ends gone wild. d. Bette's daughter.Detente is a. prohibited by law in 41 states. b. a feminine hygiene spray. c. the masculine form of "deteuse." d. a policy to replace war.Kwi-Chang-Caine became famous by saying a. "I am not a crook." b. "The barren fig tree bears no plums." c. "Hi, sailor. New in town?" d. "Aaaaaiiiyeeeaagggh!"Ted Kennedy is best remem- bered for his a. driving. b. underwater free-style. c. brothers. d. All of the above."NORML" is a. not gay. b. what Falwell wants you to be. c. trying to legalize marijuana. d. misspelled.Tom Hayden is a. one of the Chicago Seven. b. a U. S. Congressman. c. Mr. Jane Fonda. d. All of the above.Spiro Agnew is a. a form of social disease. b. a jazz-fusion rock band. c. a former Vice President. d. the first woman in Congress.The germ that transmits syphilis is a. Spiro Agnew. b. Spirochete. c. Spirograph. d. Barbarella.Kookie's address was a. 77 Sunset Strip. b. on Wistful Vista Street. c. 334 Elm Street. d. 1313 Mockingbird Lane."Who knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men?" a. The Psychiatrist b. The Shadow c. The Creeper d. Ingmar BergmanAl Lowe is: a. under 25. b. pregnant. c. never "carded." d. a Woody Allen impersonator.Frank Sinatra is a a. female impersonator. b. shy pacifist. c. saloon singer. d. distance runner.Ralph Boysen invented a. the boysenberry. b. fins on 50's cars. c. bell bottomed jeans. d. the juke box.The first man on the moon was a. John Glenn. b. Neil Diamond. c. Neil Armstrong. d. Jack Armstrong."Gone With The Wind" is about a. outer space. b. a bank robbery. c. four hours long. d. dust.Who is not a sportscaster? a. Jayne Kennedy b. Howard Cosell c. Jayne Mansfield d. Frank GiffordWhich is not a wine? a. Colombard b. Bon Aire c. Cabernet d. MuscatelWhich is not a mountain range? a. Cayman b. Appalachian c. Rockies d. HimalayasIn the movie, "Paint Your Wagon," Clint Eastwood sang a. "I Talk to the Trees" b. "Go Ahead, Make My Wagon" c. "I If Had A Mayor" d. None of the above.The drink "Screwdriver" contains a. tomato juice. b. orange juice. c. grapefruit juice. d. borax.Ronald Reagan's co-star in "Bedtime for Bonzo" was a. a monkey. b. Peter O'Toole. c. Bonzo the Clown. d. Marilyn Monroe.The slogan "It takes two hands to handle a whopper" refers to a. John Holmes. b. a hamburger. c. overstuffed grocery bags. d. fishing.If you arrived at a party wearing your birthday suit, you would a. make many new friends. b. be thrown out. c. fit right in. d. It depends on the party.Cesar Chavez led a boycott of a. grapes. b. X-rated movies. c. dirty magazines. d. goods from South Africa.James Brown is often referred to as a. the Chairman of the Board. b. a great athlete. c. the Velvet Fog. d. the Godfather of Soul.Who lost a daughter but gained a "meathead?" a. George Jefferson b. Ronald Reagan c. Archie Bunker d. Ted KnightWhich U. S. Secretary of State was born in Germany? a. Dean Rusk b. William Rogers c. George Schultz d. Henry KissingerWho was the inventive genius behind the Apple computer? a. Bill Gates b. Steve Wozniak c. Ken Williams d. Steve RussellDynamic logic = 2.abcdSo far, so good. Now for the final question.Question #%v96. Correct answer is %v93.Please answer a, b, c, or d: So far, so good. Now for the final question.4<  e<`k5``````L^`^`^`^`^`^_^ eE^`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]` ]` ]` ]` ]` ]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]` ]`!]`"]`#]`$]`%]`&]`']`(]`)]`*]`+]`,]`-]`.]`/]`0]`1]`2]`3]`4]`5]_#igBf```5 _C_Yxwi f`gC@E adc(\\`:<:\! h! :_CEdnv?f 4 P  [ *w0W n0?_\oqsuw"Close Encounters of the Third Kind" is about a. politics in third-world countries. b. homo- and heterosexual sex. c. creatures from outer space. d. a bicycle race across Alaska.IBM stands for a. Ittsy Bittsy Men. b. International Business Machines. c. Italian Branch of the Mafia. d. Iranian Broom Makers.Who was NOT in the movie "Easy Rider?" a. Peter Fonda b. Dennis Hopper c. Karen Black d. Karen CarpenterLas Vegas is famous for a. its beaches. b. being the capital of Arizona. c. gambling. d. its weather.The term "Working Girl" refers to a. a secretary. b. a lady of negotiable virtue. c. an industrious woman. d. an employed female.Making a "Hole in One" is a. every golfer's dream. b. too dirty to discuss here. c. something carpenters do. d. best done with scissors.My boss is a. a jerk. b. a total jerk. c. an absolute total jerk. d. responsible for my paycheck.How many programmers does it take to screw in a light bulb? a. None, it's a hardware problem. b. None, programmers can't fit in light bulbs. c. 100. One to hold the bulb and 99 to debug the house. d. None so far, but they'll get to it Real Soon Now.A hard disk is a. better than a floppy. b. embarrassing to have at the office. c. a state-of-the-art frisbee. d. what happens when you leave your floppy out in the sun too long.In some personal ads, TV stands for a. television. b. transvestite. c. trans-venereal. d. terre-voracic.Lucy, Ricky, Fred and a. Barney. b. Carol. c. Alice. d. Ethel.Mel Brooks is a. black. b. Puerto Rican. c. a comedian. d. Catholic.It is customary to tip about a. 2 per cent. b. 6 per cent. c. 15 per cent. d. 25 per cent.Blackjack is a. an ace and a face card. b. used by policemen. c. related to Caucasian Tom. d. a kind of car sold only in Fresno.Canada is a. where Canadians live. b. north of the U. S. c. adjacent to the U. S. d. All of the above.Oral Roberts is a. a thermometer technique. b. an evangelist. c. best done with a friend. d. shy.Richard Nixon was a. an audio technician. b. a plumber's friend. c. a comedian. d. a president.A 747 is a. a cocktail. b. a perfect bowling score. c. a large airplane. d. a prime number.Whips, chains and handcuffs are a. kinky. b. used by police departments. c. usually in text adventures. d. only permitted in Eastern schools.A Macintosh is a. a kind of Apple. b. a kind of apple. c. an article of clothing. d. All of the above.My parents are a. age 10 to 25. b. age 25 to 30. c. age 31 to 35. d. 36 or over.My favorite actor is a. Pia Zadora. b. Fred Flintstone. c. Jim Bakker. d. not listed here.I have hair on my a. head. b. palms. c. keyboard. d. lottsa places.When it's noon in California in August, in St. Louis it's a. miserable. b. 2:00 p.m. c. 3:00 p.m. d. time for a beer.The best "pick-up" line is: a. Hey baby, what's your sign? b. Want to go for a ride in my Porsche? c. For a fat girl, you sure don't sweat much! d. Do you know where I can buy some Vaseline?The "Mile-High Club" is a. a bird-watching society. b. a Denver ski club. c. a bar in East L. A. d. open to those who have performed aerial acrobatics inside a plane's rest room.My sex life is best described as a. non-existent and non- contemplated. b. what sex life? c. none of your business!! d. a ripening tomato.Elizabeth Taylor is a. an actress. b. creator of a line of cosmetics. c. celebrating her silver wedding anniversary. d. a singer.Joan Rivers is a. the real name of "Dear Abby." b. engaged to Johnny Carson. c. a former talk show hostess. d. polite to all those around her.Who starred in "Bedtime for Bonzo?" a. Clint Eastwood b. Fred Astaire c. Cary Grant d. Ronald ReaganTaxes should be a. lower. b. higher. c. unchanged. d. eliminated.A moon is a. an astronomical body. b. a practical joke. c. a form of pie. d. all of the above.Marlon Brando is a. a singer. b. an actor. c. a politician. d. a kind of soap.I am presently a. in elementary school. b. in junior high. c. fighting acne. d. past puberty.Herpes is a. caught from toilet seats. b. a French dessert. c. socially desirable. d. fatal (if given to your spouse).ERA is an abbreviation for a. Earnest Realtors of America. b. Equal Rights Amendment. c. Erogenous Readers Association. d. Error Recovery Associates.G. Gordon Liddy was associated with a. the Mob. b. Calvin Klein. c. Elizabeth Taylor. d. the Plumbers.What was illegal during Prohibition? a. aphrodisiacs b. alcohol c. abstinence d. perversionBonnie and a. Ronnie b. Clyde c. Hubbard d. ClodWho spends the most time in Las Vegas? a. Michael J. Fox b. Wayne Newton c. J. Paul Getty d. Paul VolckerWhich U. S. President was not elected to office? a. Johnson b. Eisenhower c. Ford d. ClevelandWhich is not a currency? a. yen b. lira c. fennel d. rupeeWhich is not a baseball team? a. Blue Jays b. Cardinals c. Seahawks d. OriolesWho made a record album with a cover that looked like a pair of blue jeans, complete with a working zipper? a. Rolling Stones b. Boy George c. Olivia Newton Jean d. MadonnaThe American television debut of Bob Hope, Dinah Shore, Elvis, and the Beatles was on a. "The Ed Sullivan Show." b. "Your Show of Shows." c. "The Tonight Show." d. "My Mother, the Car."Michael Doonesbury founded a. the American Nazi Party. b. Walden Puddle Commune. c. the Young Republicans. d. the Grace Jones Fan Club.The first baseball player to challenge the reserve clause was a. Philly Jo Jones. b. Roger Maris. c. Curt Flood. d. Ted Williams.The first Negro to play Major League Baseball was a. Jackie Robinson. b. Joe DiMaggio. c. Benny Goodman. d. Satchel Paige.Former Congressman Wilbur Mills went for a dip in the Tidal Basin with a. nothing on but his pride. b. a stripper named Fanne. c. his dog Spot. d. a 20-year-old secretary.Martha Mitchell was a. a porno star. b. a famous author. c. the outspoken wife of an Attorney General. d. All of the above.The G-Spot is supposed to be a. Ground Zero at a nuclear blast. b. a female erogenous zone. c. an unexplained astro- nomical discovery. d. the place where the FBI was first established.Hugh Hefner is usually photographed in a. the nude. b. a hot tub. c. his current lover's arms. d. pajamas.The 1973 album "Dark Side of the Moon" was recorded by a. Pink Floyd. b. Deep Purple. c. Bad News. d. the Grateful Dead.Dynamic logic = 3.abcdSo far, so good. Now for the final question.Question #%v96. Correct answer is %v93.Please answer a, b, c, or d: So far, so good. Now for the final question.4  e<`k5``````L^`^`^`^`^`^_^ eE^`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]` ]` ]` ]` ]` ]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]`]` ]`!]`"]`#]`$]`%]`&]`']`(]`)]`*]`+]`,]`-]`.]`/]`0]`1]`2]`3]`4]`5]_#igBf```5 _C_Yxwi f`gC@E adc(\\`:<:\! h! :_CE`@\i (U*   j , f b2JRs V1YwWhen playing "Monopoly" you a. hope for a straight flush. b. must own four houses before building a hotel. c. need a black jack to win. d. win with a seven and a five.Which is not in Hawaii? a. Oahu b. Kauai c. Fiji d. MauiWhich is not a car? a. Ferrari b. Porsche c. Corvair d. ToshibaPresident Eisenhower's nickname was a. Tink. b. Blackjack. c. Ike. d. Tina.Bourbon Street is in a. Whiskeyville, Indiana. b. Jackass Flats, Idaho. c. "Monopoly." d. New Orleans, Louisiana.Does a pair of queens beat three deuces? a. Yes, in blackjack. b. Yes, in poker. c. No, in canasta. d. It depends on what the three deuces said.Calvin Klein is a. married to Brooke Shields. b. a movie star. c. a clothing designer. d. President of the Coarsegold Chamber of Commerce.Two bits is a. all it takes to consume a "Big Mac." b. computer talk. c. about a dollar. d. the former cost for a shave and a haircut.Charlie McCarthy and a. John Lennon b. Louis Pasteur c. Albert Einstein d. Edgar BergenWho is not a famous musician? a. Lawrence Welk b. Tommy Dorsey c. Les Brown d. Steve GarveyWhich is non-alcoholic? a. whiskey b. Grand Marnier c. Perrier d. tequilaWho was not a politician? a. Richard Nixon b. Ronald Reagan c. W. C. Fields d. George BushThe last name of Annette (on the original Mickey Mouse Club) was a. Funnicular. b. that WAS her last name. c. Funicello. d. Avalon."Tiptoe Through the Tulips" was recorded by a. Alice Cooper. b. Alice B. Toklas. c. Tiny Tim. d. Big Tiny Little.Which one of these was not a war? a. Crimean b. Korean c. Chinese d. VietnameseWho's buried in Grant's tomb? a. Grant Tinker b. Land Grant c. NSF Grant d. Mrs. GrantJohn F. Kennedy drove a a. PT boat. b. spike faster than a steam driver. c. battleship. d. Ferrari.Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled a. pips. b. pipers. c. peppers. d. peekers.A result of Watergate was a. the loss of water. b. Jimmy Carter quit. c. Richard Nixon quit. d. Gerald Ford quit.I find computer games with adult content a. offensive. b. acceptable. c. repulsive. d. under my bed.The Atlantic and Pacific Oceans are connected by the a. Panama Canal. b. Snake River. c. hips. d. Isthmus of Panama.The most likely place to find virgins is a. The Virgin Islands. b. Virginia. c. St. Mary's Girls School. d. Hollywood.Who wrote "To be, or not to be?" a. Bill Shakespeare. b. Paul McCartney. c. George Bernard Shaw. d. Tennessee Williams.The largest state is a. California. b. Alaska. c. Rhode Island. d. Texas.Utah is full of a. fresh water. b. Jews. c. Catholics. d. None of the above.The leader of Nazi Germany was a. Boris Godunov. b. Mussolini. c. Oleg Cassinni. d. Adolph Hitler.Lee Harvey Oswald killed a. Harvey Milk. b. Charles Nelson Reilly. c. John Fitzgerald Kennedy. d. William Randolph Hearst.How many molecules are in a glass of water? a. one million b. one trillion c. one million trillion d. as many as there are glasses of water in the whole worldIf a physician were stranded on a desert island with Bo Derek, he would probably a. build a boat. b. take two aspirins. c. overcharge her. d. thank God.If Bo Derek were here, I'd ask her to a. leave. b. respect my privacy. c. help me with my homework. d. stop playing computer games.Joe DiMaggio played a. pool. b. baseball. c. basketball. d. trumpet.The most populous city in the United States is a. Los Angeles. b. Mexico City. c. New York. d. Chicago.A nehru jacket is a. made from tanned nehru hides. b. out of date. c. a Middle Eastern prophylactic. d. around a car's radiator.Sergeant Pepper was a. the Beatles' chauffeur. b. Elvis' manager. c. the leader of the Lonely Hearts Club Band. d. hung for treason.Which is not an American armed force? a. the Army b. the Navy c. the National Guard d. the National LeagueThe most effective form of birth control is a. abstinence. b. the Rhythm Method. c. the Pill. d. dating ugly people.Which is not a city in Mexico? a. Tijuana b. Puerto Vallarta c. San Diego d. Mexico CityHerb Alpert and the _____ Brass a. Tijuana b. Boss c. Canadian d. Top"It's not nice to fool" a. Mother Hubbard. b. Mother Nature. c. the government. d. Mayor Daly."Where's the" a. catsup? b. toilet? c. beef? d. rest of this game?Who was not an astronaut? a. John Milton b. John Glenn c. Neil Armstrong d. Richard GordonWho has not been a U. S. Attorney General? a. John Mitchell b. Sam Shepard c. Ramsey Clark d. Herbert BrownerWhich is not a cheese? a. Jarlsburg b. Mozzarella c. Brie d. ReislingCaptain Kangaroo's sidekick was a. Mr. Potato Head. b. Winnie the Pooh. c. Mr. Rogers. d. Mr. Greenjeans.Mohammed Ali is a. a ballet star. b. an Arab terrorist. c. a professional boxer. d. a singer.Who is not a mass murderer? a. Charlie Manson b. Ted Bundy c. Jack the Ripper d. Timothy LearyThere are about _____ calories in a can of beer. a. 15 b. 150 c. 1500 d. 15000John Belushi was on a. "Mr. Rogers." b. "The PTL club." c. "My Mother the Car." d. "Saturday Night Live."James Earl Jones was the voice of a. Jason in "Friday the 13th." b. Freddie in "Nightmare on Elm Street." c. Darth Vader in "Star Wars." d. Kriswell in "Plan 9 From Outer Space."Doonesbury's "Uncle Duke" is based on a. Jeffrey Hunter. b. Hunter S. Thompson. c. Huntz Hall. d. None of the above.In Westworld, "where nothing can go wrong," guests were entertained by a. Stephen Wright. b. X-rated movies. c. robots. d. Rodney Dangerfield.Mork was from the planet a. Ork. b. Vulcan. c. Krypton. d. Pluto.Who was banned from "Saturday Night Live" because he lost a telephone poll? a. John Belushi b. Dan Akroyd c. Chevy Chase d. Andy KaufmanDynamic logic = 4.abcdSo far, so good. Now for the final question.Question #%v96. Correct answer is %v93.Please answer a, b, c, or d: So far, so good. Now for the final question.4!m_ mxwi 0 Uxe  { 0w M UbQQQQ*z*z*$z*.$z* W *i_+evwxece Ae e^__2\]] e_B _e ^eK K__i_,? > ve&Mkt-{Warning: "Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards" contains some elements of plot which may not be considered appropriate for some children.How old are you? To verify you are really %v209, please answer five simple questions.Sorry. This game can only be played by adults, or with an adult. Please find an adult, come back, and try again.Oops. You blew that one! If you miss another, you can't possibly be %v209.You're a kid!! Shame on you for trying to deceive a friendly game like this! Please play again when you're older.Please answer a, b, c, or d: Correct.So far, so good. Now for the final question. Thank you. And now, slip into your leisure suit and prepare to enter the "Land of the Lounge Lizards" with "Leisure Suit Larry!" Warning! This game may be hazardous to those with heart conditions!No, you're not!Question #%v208. Correct answer is %v211.abcd%v62 cycles in %v63 seconds4bIww i.b3$ pstuv 0 Ux )M?924>Mb! ) M% # S  !=X%<)46/#4L4:v z2$S!=XC%$S)2+#LW!=XC%ST)2+#LT!=XC%C)2+#LXY &'+N$ &:'+ &?'+&&'#9>c(i ic( " 2K eee $/e e e Qe)Qe$?4= ) 6ww e e C;IwM U? 6ee""eB"j"e0Y?M KAA KK KAA Y 0w)<eC AAeM U)/LU "IKA "F)/&''&'CA "LVIKA 0L,?>e 0$$ 2ee9L xL xN ULA&{s#-r;You are outside Lefty's bar. Isn't it wonderful what can be done with a little neon?There is a sign on that utility pole.It appears that the hooker gave you a little more than you bargained for!Considering the looks of this place, you decide that next time you'd be better off to spend a little more money on your computer games!While life may be possible, it is no longer worth living.The windows are too dirty to see through.Nah. Lefty would probably break both your legs!Nice tuck and roll job, eh?"Welcome"Amazed by your own cleverness, you lift the door mat and discover......absolutely nothing!(What did you expect? A key?)You can't. The door is securely locked. Lefty's closes at 3:00 a.m."STOP, PERVERT!!!" shouts the cop. "I wonder who he's yelling at," you think."Caught you, pervert!" the cop shouts. "We don't like people exposing themselves around this town, especially wearing one of those!"Next time, if you insist on wearing your "lubber" in public, you should at least zip your fly.He appears to be chasing someone!4 H b!=XC)H+/%I#4L4!=XC)/LV%3e#: A zHp3(!=XC)H+A 1404/%p3#:@zHA3 &' N+& &:'&F'@+ "N U8&&'#w U 6 Ux 5<^@  R & &>&>  > > %% '>'> '> ' ' 8 8 2 C)V@xN U "LTe4d'c'< e)A K:(e(e) N U e*\e+''+ A K:e( e' N U e&"'"&>&&"e6 CL's&s&s's'see4NNNN, N ' A K:  e e3s<se1~'''''e%e&0e"'NN0'0e#l'','','';,'l',',%l','e,>,%,'e-e.d"d"'s'j'js'j'e* ew;I ": Ax,!e exe244 KKg KAA;/ Uw$IKc(A)6 %5c#Q5KA/:<AM U)/6(~LV "IKA "F1404xAAe" CM Ux) 14046-LU "KKAf "F)(~1404AA U C) /6%1LV "IKA ")4N U8OTLTAA& Uw)/6_D<f::LTQ_Kc(A "F)/SCA "LVIKAL L 7 p~Zw5+%bq ^g/S -  * m  ) / w Try moving to the east end of the fire escape.Try moving to the west end of the fire escape.%m7 and a fence.Nah. That room needs the fresh air!You are on a fire escape. A rusty ladder is at one end. East of the fire escape is another window, just out of your reach.%m7, a fence, and something sitting in the east window.It's a nice little alley, with a trash bin, two windows, a fire escapeMove closer to the ladder.(Of course, you can't play the violin now, but you get the idea.)Unlock it? From the outside?You can't. It's locked from the inside.Looking inside the west window, you see the room you just left.Looking at the east window, you notice a bottle of pills sitting on the window ledge.There are two windows high above you. The west window by the fire escape has a dim, reddish glow; the east window is dark. There may be something on the sill of the east window, but you can't make it out from down here.You broke it, didn't you?You lean far out over the railing before remembering that agility is yet another of your short suits.With the rope securely holding you to the railing, you can reach all the way over to the window. NOW, of all times, you notice the window's locked!Subtly, you smash the window with your hammer. Your future as a second-story man seems quite plausible!You got 'em! But what are they?You might try reaching over to the window first.You consider sticking your hand through a solid glass window, but realize that if you did, you wouldn't be able to play the violin.It already is.What is this; a death wish?You already took them. Why do this again?Amidst assorted, odoriferous refuse from Lefty's clientel, you discover Lefty's old, left-handed hammer.There's nothing else here worth describing, let alone taking."YUCK!!"Unfortunately, you can't see much from out here.Wow! Does your head hurt!!Hey! Where are you?After a careful analysis of your surroundings, you conclude you are at the bottom of a pile of garbage!Move to the front of the trash bin.There's no way to reach the ladder from down here. It's only accessible from above.You see alleys stretching off to infinity.The fence is much too tall for you to climb over.It's not long enough to reach from here.It's not long enough to reach anywhere, but you might want to use it for safety purposes.Be more specific.You untie the rope.How can you do that?Using the dull pocket knife, you cut the rope free.%g176A rickety fire escape, complete with safety ladder, is loosely attached to the building. A mild, reddish glow comes from the window behind it.Unfortunately the lid on the trash bin just will not close.Try as you might, it is impossible to move the trash bin.The solution is closer to you than that.There is an old neon sign hanging on the wall that says "Hotel"......approximately.You can't. Even its rusty bolts are too tough for you!Not now!There may be something in the east window, but from here, you're not sure.It's a long way to the ground!Whee!Move closer to the window, if you want to go back in the hooker's room.You reconsider after noticing the trash bin is behind where you would fall!4er;<:Eb b!=XC%4):14046 4L4#K!=XC%G{)<6 !XC)E6 %et#: UM%8# 2< Yn A}T Ye'e'&2Vyyyy\) ee ;)LT<N U "  eyye 'e(@ CVgggg&gV@e3 6' )H~ U "M<e t t 6eyyy 6ea'a'e$%%e%e%e' 6eeee(' 6eeeeW'&'W'1e$ 6 C+J< UMc (~e)k?k?k?k 6e$?e M U;I2eeee9 9ee 6 eee e5ee#++ 6e >+$+%+$2 6e%$'e&ee$ 6  7 ;$\e  6w UM Ȕ#e!e"'e':'(''(''e ,)e c(e eN U +LT +LX! : UNEd ee) "(e 2$5;67 /9{567 9W UL)T&?Ii=Dx)<@Yojiz!'SvYou are in Lefty's one and only restroom. The stench is overpowering, there is graffiti on the walls, and you doubt that the sink was clean even when it was installed. Even roaches can't survive in this place!%m8Scott me up, Beamie!"Ahhhhhhh.%m8Attention arcade game players: please don't eat the urinal cakes!"%m8It takes leather balls to play rugby!"Funny. No one knocks back.NOW??You see many messages. One is: "You see a handsome, dashing, macho, sexy, young man. (Obviously, this mirror has quite a bit of distortion!)You grab an ancient copy of the "Ball Street Journal," and settle in to "sit and think!"You feel a great relief!Why, look! Some woman removed her diamond ring to wash her hands, and forgot to take it with her.Got it! You briefly consider an attempt to find the ring's owner, but return to your normal self and pocket it instead.A small, neatly lettered sign reminds you: "Since we can't clean up after every customer, please rinse out this sink when you are finished."Evidently, you are the first customer who can read.My, my. Aren't we the little sick-o!Say, here's an interesting one: "The password is: 'Ken sent me.'"Bad idea, eh Larry?Your life passes before your eyes.You doze briefly.What's that aroma?Ok.It's not a pretty sight!Say, there's no soap.There's no towels.Move closer to the handle.Your hands are still dirty, but now they're wet!The toilet paper is only there for official purposes.Carefully finishing your duties, you wipe and toss the newspaper behind the toilet for the next user.You only read while "enthroned."Your face is still dirty, but at least it's now dripping with water.Ok. You're dry (but your keyboard is still damp)!Realizing your mistake, you quickly jiggle the handle, attempting to stem the onrushing tide of water.It doesn't work.It's nice of you to try, but this sink is too far gone to save!No one would drink from ANY fixture in here!Nice idea, but the mirror is firmly attached to the wall.Yuck!Lefty must be running low on air freshener.No wonder your eyesight is so bad!Been drinking Lefty's liquor again, eh?4 ?,Y9/b!XC)9+/6 4L4%i{#F!XC)/+/%c#FLUz/c !XC%0s)9+/6 #: &d'{&L+&&'#c( _nh Z} (r: te'eeQe e YQaYaQ 6e$? 6 CM UI)Q)Q'  6G88Q8Q 6Ze88Qa8aQ8a8Q8Q0 e$ 6^G 0FF e e ve v" 6  7 C$\ 8Q8Q' 6e-Q'-Q' 6e:Q'{Q'jQ' 6e Q'@'`Q'`''=@'=Q' 6e,(/Ffeeeeee\&e' e e ;  G E44 L UL 49g wJpIh \lYou are in a dimly lit hallway. The paint peeling off the walls gives the cockroaches something to watch. An old table is pushed against the west wall. A filthy drunk sits on the filthy floor, leaning against the filthy wall."Jeeezz! Somethin' die in there??"You can remember when that table held a rose.You find nothing but odor."Hiya shhhhonny. How's 'bout you 'n' me havin' a lil' drink?"Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug.Slurp! "Ahhhh! That did hit the ol' spot!""Ya know, ya mus' be ma only frien' in the whole world! Shhoooo, I'm gonna give ya my only posshhess... hhic!He's a poor little lamb, who has lost his way......and also his bladder control!There is a single, lovely, long-stemmed, red rose lying incongruously on the table."Wadda ya tryin' to do; make me a soprano??""Geeze! Them pointy-toed shoes hurt!"You generously hand him a dollar."Shhaay, thanksh buddy! How 'bout sshhom'ore?"He responds, "Ya know, whad I really need is a good, sshhtiff belt!"You spend hours carefully examining every brick. You find nothing.You have no drink to give him.There's no one selling anything here. Try the bartender out front.He's too drunk to want anything.He's beyond help, but thirsty."...my only posshhess... hhic!"...all I got in the world. What'sha guy like me need witta TV remote control!?""Hey! Wake up!"Caught ya! Now open the door, then get your nose out of that manual and start playing this game the right way!4 ?cb8365417z7QE 7z5p z5e !XC%)8/6 #4L4:!)3+-/6 %n!=%BB)3+-/#LU!XC)3+-/%6 #:!XC)5+/6 %A#LU!X)6+6 %M#!)1+/%je#: &' &''l&L'&&'# ɂ ʂ  -x6 8 u! 7N E GW E Uc ^| E   ze zd  )")"E 6eD?$? 6e/''??"'"'eAB?B?'j? 6e7k' 6e.e?'6' 6e?e888Le!?ZeL2ZeMeNeOePeQeReSYae!eEY e! eFZeG88Y$eHe-Oe0Qe5e1e2e3:O:O:OO 6eCO)OOYOaO)O 6eAAe(/)N UYZ+F  0we)'`'`'&X'''.e,!344e>e++F ʂ{˂,X,  4  ;T !+<: $)eBx. U 0e*+GNlB-F 4444e fe:-GFK KAA ;QjfKA +:<CA;QZfKA +:<CA`eZ eeAL;QwcKeZ  e#^ ^\e& e eeAA+:<  GFo #I:e e;K$e e M U;Kf$;IgL4 4/:< ;c4  4 ;# n  e e x<4+ U. U-444LL S d#H9f?vS0^. 7 W   S n   S ] 2 v QyD@bThis is the sleaziest bar you've ever been in. And you've been in quite a few.You are standing.You are sitting.You insert a dollar into the juke box, and select a suitably sleazy song.You rap loudly on the naugahyde door. You wonder how many naugas had to give their all just to decorate this sleazehole.So what?"Yeah. Whatsda passwoid?""Scram, dog breath!""Come on in!""...blah, blah, blah, blah, blah...""...a lotta guys just leave her hanging in a tree somewhere!""...'cause Thursday's your night in the barrel!""...just think of the money he saved!""...and there stood the pig and the cow!""...dammit Liza, doncha know ya own reflection?""...we are coming back this way, aren't we?""...You idiot! I said POSSE!!""...nobody can eat THAT much ice cream!""...25 bucks, same as in town!"You'd better sit down first.You greet the bartender. "What'll it be," Lefty responds, "whiskey, wine or beer?""I'll have a glass of your fine, well whiskey!" you tell Lefty."Gimme a mug o' beer!" you order Lefty."That'll be $3.00, please."You flip three bucks onto the counter."I'm presently a little short," you stammer."Yeah, and not just in the financial department, I bet!" he replies, grabbing back your order.You down the beer in your pseudo-macho style, and slam the mug back on the bar.You delicately sip the wine until it's all gone. You tell Lefty, "I find this impudent and sassy, with the slightest hint of impertinence."He gazes at you longingly and moistens his lips!Suddenly you feel a little woozy.This one tastes even better than the last. One more sounds like a good idea.Try sitting at the bar; that usually gets Lefty's attention.It's not good etiquette to drink standing up.Since you can only balance one open glass of whiskey at a time, you toss this one down immediately."May I please have a glass of your delicate white zinfandel, sir?" you ask Lefty.Hey, was that your voice?You don't drink the whiskey, but instead, decide to carry it with you wherever you go, precariously balanced in an open shot glass.The whiskey burns its way down your throat. You vow to never again buy a "well" brand.Hold on; you haven't got your last order yet!You feel a little light-headed.Shaking your head, you clear away the cobwebs and are able to once again walk in your standard, studly style."Cram it, clown!" you tell the bore on the stool next to you!"Same to ya!" shouts Lefty.It's an antique, left over from "King's Quest III."Patience, Larry; patience!The door is locked. And, there is no key.She may not be a great looker, but think of the muscles in that leg.It's just going around in circles......like your life.You don't know much about art, but you do know what you like!You mean to say you're playing a 3-D adventure game, and all you want is LIGHT beer??They're just sitting at the bar, drinking their livers into oblivion."Sorry, we don't sell them sissy drinks here," says Lefty. "We got whiskey, wine and beer. What do you want?"My, aren't we the little savage! Didn't your mother teach you anything?"Who cares," she replies sarcastically. "Stop bugging me, or I'll have my boy friend take care of you when he gets back from the rest room!"Looks like you're operating at your standard level of charm, Larry."Har, har!!"He has nothing to say, but says it continuously."Hi there, lovely legs!" you say sweetly. "My name's Larry; Larry Laffer."They have no comment.He's not bothering you now; leave him alone, you big bully!You can't. There's no key in this game!Gee, Dad. It's a Wurlitzer!The peephole is locked from the inside.Boy, are you drunk!SLAP!"Ya got me!""No, thanks," Lefty replies. "I don't drink.""Ok," says Lefty, "but that'll cost ya $%v90.00!"The last of the big time spenders, you go down in a blaze of glory, ordering drinks for everybody in the place."I'll not help you," says Lefty, "no matter how much you offer me!"The naugahyde bounces the hammer back, grazing your scalp but slightly.You flip a fiver out on the bar. Lefty grabs it, smiles, and says, "Hey, thanks buddy! %m74You don't have enough money!"Double down on eleven.""If you're short of money, you could always try gambling at the casino.""If you're bored hanging around my place, try hailing a cab outside.""Have you talked to Sierra On-Line lately?""Guys tell me I need to clean my rest room walls."He appears to be perverted, twisted and sick!You instantly take a liking to him.4l?'=>?@!XC%)=6 4L4!XC%F)@!8 Z)>+%F# # )?%d )>+%*Qt#+/#:&G'71404#K&'M U&&'# E44  E {! AP AL i ReL$LLeL%L'L'LLe0?e!''e7Qe,:QQe;n8e-Ze.e/Y'YOY\YXYU88Q8Q8Q8Q8=Ze62 6&Zde Zde)>Qd?e k?k?k?k 6e$? 6 CM U;I%n%nn 6 8ee%n%nn 68ee%n%n'%'%'%'%%%n%n%%n%%n%%n%%n%n%n%n%n6  D*'e8e9#e 8R!MQQ  De<)Qu')*Ze eeejQ'jQ''QQQQQQQ|Q'e4%%5%%Qeee8Q'8Q'e:%%%n%n%n%n%%n%%nnnnnnnD e88e,'e Ree*eR'e1Se2Ue3Ze5fR R 4R4f4 )>QF Re  )?e+ Z+F<b be &Z'n e)>+Qt )? e 8 ʂ4L4 :N U UL'*L<> z,R6SsMxhK~-cr  / H u  G  E  The bar's storage room is almost empty. Its most significant feature is a big, mean-looking dude."Ya wanna go upstairs?" he says in a scholarly voice, "ya gotta pays da price!""$100.00, cash up front, no refunds."He certainly has a pleasing manner about him."Thanks," he growls. "Remember, no refunds!"Evidently no one in the bar wants to play "Knock, knock" with you.It's the door from the bar. Its far side looks better than this side.You don't have enough money."You like that stuff, eh, boy?"The pimp seems vaguely interested, but not enough to leave his post by the stairs.The pimp growls, "You got no business goin' up these stairs, little man!"It appears you've finally reached the pimp's cultural level.He ignores you. It looks like he's "engrossed" in something right now."Oh, John." "Oh, Marsha." "OH, John." "OH, Marsha." "Oh, JOHN!" "Oh, MARSHA!" "OH, JOHN!!" "OH, MARSHA!!""...I'm Al Fartles, and this is my partner, Fed Ames. We just want to tell you how much we appreciate your support...""...and now, ALoHa Productions is proud to present 'The Revenge of the Software Developers' in full color and stereo sound...""...while Jim is fighting for his life with the raging female rhinoceros in heat, I'll slip into my tent with the native girl and this pitcher of Mai Tais...""...it's a beautiful day in the neighbor...""...live from Malaga, California, it's the Cable Sports Network presentation of the Miniature Female Mud Wrestlers 500-kilometer Cross-Country Nude Bicycle Race...""...And next, Master Piece Theatre presents a special 3-D broadcast of 'Naugahyde Goddesses of Oakhurst!'""...oh, baby, yeah. Yeah, I love it when you do that! Ooooooooooh!! That hurts so good, pull it out a little deeper!!!"The knob is broken off. There's no way to turn it.It already is!You click the power switch on the remote control.You click the channel selector on the remote control.Nah. He's having a good time!They're boxes, all right.The remote control seems ineffectual from this angle.The TV is off."Pretty good stuff, eh, boy?" laughs the pimp.%m56soap opera.%m56commercial.%m56musical comedy.%m56documentary.No, no!! Anything but that!%m56cable sports show.%m56educational show.Well, now. What's this??Slow down. You're gonna blow the punch line!"Have a nice lay."He's no rocket scientist!Its screen is blank; much like the pimp's mind.%m56program.Get your mind back on the game, Larry!What does this look like, the ship's hold in "King's Quest III?"The walls do a good job of separating the floor from the ceiling.It's just hanging around.Wait 'til you get upstairs.He's far too big, and you're far too wimpy."Hey! Outta da way!!"There is no need to pay; he's pleasantly distracted. Help yourself!You wonder what palace of earthly delights resides above you.Another boring Evidently the remote control's off button is broken.Its operation is beyond his mental capacities.He's unaffected by the remote control.He's too strong for you, Larry.4 ?,QQCABD !)D%#:!)A+/%8V!=)A+/%2*LVF!=XC)C? %+%+/#F!XC)B6@ 1404/%d#LV: &{'~ 6 $Y&6't+&&'#,o   6 $Y 8X $ ()N 0 E 0 E tv | eee&"5"e 'e % e# j j    De+)O)U?eeeO[\ZZ]' 6eSe!/'e"F ee%F 6e,LL   6eLLLLLF 6  7 '$L'$''a'a' DOU-?e e. /$e'e('  De-'eaUaOee$ 28}ee 0$ 2$"$" 6@e "" 6e &"&>N5"N5'5"&'"'5'5 '5 ' ' &5 &5 & & &5"&" 6@e8@@<@<@'-2 6&e?e e)o@o@8@o@@ @o@o@o@@@e@'ed'%%d'e%XOXUOX&---9-9-'e*o2  D&>e?ee*= w 0"Q!6B / /#F!=/6#LUF A 0x"!=XC#F!# !#:!XC6#LV: M " U N)LT " U ɂ4L4,C Bee )14048 "LVK%+#- ) "N ULT ?  , ex>e  Y G F/<! G8 F/#GF? ,BI  F/ F: @ C\ ;$ C;I )/6}}LVM U "IM)/LV "Ie >^ \ [ [ )1404LV "K% -,  )6 "wM U$  BFLML . ^ C2e <Os'nT\?2^PrD m This is the hooker's seedy bedroom. The bed's a mess, ditto the hooker!Yep! This would be a perfect time! The Surgeon General would be proud.You already are wearing it.It looks like the hooker has a box of candy on her table.Although successful, you feel less than satisfied. Technically speaking, you're no longer a virgin, but for some reason, the thrill just wasn't there. You vow to continue your quest until you please your heart, not just your other organs!Sniffing the air, you're suddenly hungry for tuna."Come on over here, Larry!"She says, "Me first!" as she%m25Not again! A guy can only take so much!!She seems more interested in that cigarette than she was in you.It's a good thing you were wearing that rubber!It's already open.Nah. This room needs the fresh air!You repeatedly bang your head against the closed glass.It's a really ugly table."Jeez, Mister! What've you been eating? Buffalo chips???"She certainly seems to enjoy that gum.A sign near the bed says: "Substantial penalty for early withdrawals.""So," she snarls, "you just gonna stand there, or what?""Was it good for you, baby?" you ask her."Was what good?" she replies.Although you might look precious in that little white lace number, you're just not that kind of guy!She%m25 goes to work on you. Then she smiles as she bites it off! "Sorry, Larry. No oral sex in this game. Suffer!"Now's a great time to think of that!"Is that a toothpick in your pocket, or are you just happy to get past my pimp?"You'd have a better view if you'd move to the front of the bed!There is a fire escape outside the window.The clothesline is barely strong enough to hold its present load. Poor girl, you'd think at these prices she could afford a laundromat."Hey, what kind of girl do you think I am?"It's getting old and rusty -- not unlike you, Larry.It just hangs there.There's nothing (and no one) there.It, too, is broken.It's barely strong enough to hold up its present load. Besides, if you take it, her underwear would fall down.There is a table near the window.There's nothing there.You have no use for a stained pillow.You are as naked as you're going to get!With all your clothes on?You slyly tap out a message in Morse code; unfortunately, only some rats hear it.You can't. She's nailed it to the floor.Your rope is not long enough to reach outside.NOW!? 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Except for the clerk standing behind the counter, the store appears to be deserted. A small sign graces the counter.There are many magazines on the rack, but your eyes immediately go to the ones with the naked girls on the cover.Move to the counter when you are ready to pay for your selections.Shouldn't you TAKE your purchases before paying for them? "WHAT A PERVERT!!!" The shelves are filled with all the necessities of life: "Dwinkies," "Wallo-Wars," "Loritos," various colas, cheap wine, and coffee. You don't see anything you really need in this part of the store.Nah. You'd just be wasting your money."You haven't used your old one yet!"Apparently the clerk is new to this country. He only knows a few English words."Sure, we got lubbers!"(Obviously you've hit his area of expertise!)"What kind lubber you want? Smooth or libbed?""Colored or plain?""Lubricated or rough-cut?""Striped or plaid?""Peppermint or spearmint flavor?""Hey, everybody!! This weird-o just bought a %s5-flavored, %s4, %s3, %s2, %s1 lubber!!!"After looking around to make certain you're alone, you quietly ask the clerk if he has any available behind the counter.The clerk does not take kindly to your shoplifting. His shotgun makes a permanent impression on you. (And, IN you!)"Oakie, doakie Meester!"smoothlibbedcoloredplainlubricatedrough-cutstripedplaidpeppermintspearmintHe hands you the package, saying "All together, that will be $%v200.00, prease."Unfortunately, you only have $%v90.00. (Perhaps you can sneak out without paying.)You give him the money, with a pleasant "Thanks a lot, big mouth!" "Hey, Meester!!" yells the clerk. "I hope you enjoy your %s5-flavored, %s4, %s3, %s2, %s1 lubber!!!"The magazines are on the rack nearest the door.Nah. That's enough reading material for one game."Ooooooh, Meester! Thank you for free money. What wonderful country thees is!!""Oakie, doakie Meester! That'll be $%v200.00.""Have a nice day."You grab a bottle of cheap wine, and wonder how they can make a profit selling this stuff for only a dollar a gallon!Not here. This place is too expensive!A small, discreetly hand-lettered sign says: "Prophylactics For Sale Ask Clerk""Nice turban, Leroy.""Hey, meester! Come over here, and get your lubber!!"He smiles back, pretending to understand.The wine is on the left end of the back wall.That extra large jug of wine looks like a bargain.There's nothing of interest inside.That is located behind the counter. Ask the clerk.You still have some."Here, Meester," he says. "Thees smells like chur brand!"Hmm. That one looks particularly interesting.Whew. One of those bottles is about all a guy needs, Larry.The wall behind the clerk is blank and the counter is completely bare, except for a small sign. (You wonder where he keeps the slim jims.)"Sorry, no gottee!""Fposwqa feinnzx. Ofewass gewyiu qfbva.""Poolskd asd woefpo lkjfq feps of foeps.""Owf wepa vpifk qpqwf? Qqwpp apifrp qp foiw!""Tqp nbq bqopni ba ajpqoi fqyq. HA HA HA!!""Pqwwo qfp qwfnbv qozdvie. Ppqow poqw fvzxc ioplhjk.""Qufe weax zxo zvp zvqiw vpozcvajpbnv wf, apoz. Wfipa?""Zxxz pofqsoo afpoistr zxcv."4gww ?p9bz,6   ]!)]%LVPVNCA &$'s+ &'r&M'&&'X# F9 4~E 2}M 2M E44 Eee"$? = eC) 6A KH 6ep pe e! ) 6Ae2e3A KVQ 6e )Q) 6e' e 8[Q8[8Q[:  D. 6"^ e#\eee 8Q88Q$  D 6 e^ 8Q8YQYQ8Q 6 e Qe=Qe18Qm8mQe)'e%'e'He&""eB,!CAeAfAn  S  #c(S MFe e0 eGT$K KAA 0wM Uir4sCAhr8r9Adr:r;Arr?r @r A  AiC 5Ae*e+AAeWRe$AHe,e-r 4 is 5&s 4wxu [Y[[A e6AAfJe.r 4 is 5&s 4wxu    'A e7AAge/ Ps sAAeDeEeFeGeHy yAAer4r4r4r 4r 4e is5&s4e is5&s4e is5&s4e is 5&s 4e is 5&s 4e e e Nq qAAClAe AClAeAClAeAClAeAClAAeA Nr reeeeAA 0iN Uwx 59)&e()))e%LL &LL HAGw <n$4J ^ >`y[ ? \  2 Z   # % ' w   $ O [ >JYou are outside an all-night convenience store. There is a telephone on the pole. The portion of the telephone book that wasn't illegible from being water-soaked has been torn out."Slurp. Thanks, I needed that! See ya 'round!!""Hello, you have reached the National Hot Line Sex Survey. Please answer the following questions. There may be a wonderful prize waiting for you!!""What is the name of your favorite sex partner?""What's the best part of your partner's anatomy?""What do the two of you like to do together?""What is the best part of your body?""And, finally, name your partner's favorite object.""Thanks for participating. Your prize is..." Hum. Looks like they hung up on you. Oh, well. It was probably a bummer prize anyway!Where?!"Ring.""Ring ring.""Ring ring ring.""Ring ring ring ring."How long are we going to do this before you type in "answer phone?!"You pick up the telephone, and hear a woman's voice."Hello, Larry! This is %s6. Why don't you forget this silly game, and come over to my place so we can %s8?""After all, your %s9 has always turned me on! So bring along a %s10 and come play with my %s7! Bye, now."You hang up the telephone and wipe the sweat from your hands!There are some numbers scribbled on the side of the telephone. The only thing legible (and printable) is: "555-6969.""Howsha 'bout a drink, Shonney?""Why, thanshk, Shonney!" (Glug, glug.)"I ain't got no remote control, but, sssshay, I'll tell ya what: here'ssh my trussshty ol' pocket knife. Ya never know! There are sssshome kinky girlssh in this town. Sssshexy hunkssh like ussh might have to defend oursshelves sometime!"With that, he "sssshtumbles" off into the darkness."Got any sshhpare change, buddy?""Al'right. Be that way!"Cheezzzz! He makes that dog smell refreshing!Please enter number: You fish a dollar out of your wallet, and hand it to the bum. "Gossshhh thanssskks, buddy," he says sarcastically. "Maybe now I'll be able to afford that tsshhhousand sssshhares of Broderbund ssstock!"He looks like a man that could (ab)use a drink.There's nothing to see on this side of the pole.The store is open all night for your convenience. That's why they call it an "all-night convenience store," Larry!"Why, thanshk, Shonney! Glug, glug."All you get is a busy signal.Try dialing the telephone.What's left is illegible.Try answering the telephone.It's not that easy; you'll have to find the correct telephone number yourself!Give him the bottle of what?"I'm sorry, but you have reached a number that is disconnected, or no longer in service. Please hang up and dial again.""This is a computer.""Hello. Ajax Liquor Store. We deliver!""So, what do you want to buy?""Fine. Where do you want it delivered?""Ok. We'll get it right there. Consider it done, and thanks for calling!""Well, ok. Have ya got any spare wine, then?"You find a strong aroma, which you allow him to keep!It's not ringing."Hello." ]"Sorry, by law all we can deliver is wine. Ok, talk to ya again sometime. Bye!""Ok, I'll take it there, but I doubt if you ever see it! Bye!"555-80395558039555-69695556969(209) 683-6858209 683-6858209 683-68582096836858209683-6858209 6836858You could see better if you'd walk inside.It IS open."Hello," a pleasant voice responds. "Sierra On-Line.""We're not open right now, but if you'd call during business hours (and stop using this pretend telephone), we would be happy to sell you a 'Leisure Suit Larry Hint Book.'""Written by Al Lowe, the author of Leisure Suit Larry, you know it at least tries to be humorous. The answers are invisible, until you mark them with the special pen provided, so you never have to worry about inadvertently learning something you didn't want to know.""Thank you for calling Sierra On-Line, and for your purchase of 'Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Lounge Lizards.' Good bye."Such blatant commercialism turns you on. You make a mental note to purchase one of those great, Al Lowe Hint Books!4 ww ?L9Z[v zZ@;!=)Z+%@;6#!=)Z+/%'BLU#!=)Z+/%gBLU#!X)[/X %Ix&M'S%LxY &M'&&'##:9 Ax[ EeSeeee)Q) 6eeeQ e e %Q%Q 6ejQ|Qe e 8Q8Q$Q 6eeYrQYQ)Qr)Qr 6eer8rQ8Qr8rQrrQD e8 6,e!ee ;/Ix:<Xw w$?kk?k? = e: ;I /<  : e 9LLL 2s K Tt :auLbYou are outside a flashy disco. The bouncer does not look happy."Either show your membership card, or get lost, Scum-Breath!""Good evening, Sir. I'm so sorry I didn't recognize you sooner. Please, come right in!!"You whip out your "borrowed" membership card, and lay it on him.It seems he's uninterested in idle chit-chat, Larry.You don't have a membership card!"We hope you enjoyed your visit tonight, Sir!""Oh, there's no need to do that, Sir!" says the bouncer."HALT!! I'm sorry, Sir," says the bouncer, "but this is a private club."He seems glad to see you leave.He's physically well-developed, but you bet he's not as wise in the ways of women as you are.Larry! How could you!You know he'd beat you to a pulp!Gazing up at the storefronts before you, a feeling comes over you. Surely every one of those windows has a deep, wonderful story hidden behind it. There are millions of stories here in Lost Wages, but you'll never know any of them. Such is the fate of those who are morally-weak, but financially-strong.(What the hell was that all about????)Gaudy, aren't they?He's far too strong for you, Larry.All the stores are locked. But, that disco sure looks inviting."You can only get a card if you already have a card," he laughs, "but then, of course, you wouldn't NEED a card.""So, beat it, Chump!""How's about a little green sliding across your palm?" you ask the bouncer."How's about your rear end sliding across the pavement?" he replies.Why does the dog use you, and not it?4A,?xX^bz^sx z^z^z^ilz^1z^blz^p z^z^iYz^1z^bZz1b cd!XC)d+/%"{6!)d+6%/!)b8GLT%zOFz} )X+6 %w#LUF,:)X+6 M U&t'w} }# dz z# KA S&L'&&'# py{| |y|  xp EggO'g'g'gF'ge&[e>eBD 68e5\ C \eee)X+tw6 <M U'2OO&''e' C |e YaYY[YYOae9)Q)Qe?O''Aee, F"'e6O'O'e7FF e=ee(QQ Fee)e*)O)Oe,e-:O'aO'XO'O':['e<OOOO')O)O)O'RJe;e,e-8Ov8vO  De,e-8O8O  De,e-8O8O  De,e-8O8O8O8Oe,e-| |)+ty8N UA K,SSeS e F dK KAAQaKAQCqKA @)cT## 4eAAD 0 ") UwTC AQ5nKA CQ:nKA ()+/2nLVIK$B)+-/F%2PA +LT#Q2KA )T$/C A Q5nKA)+2n#Q2PKA+1404KK$@)c.G%;nDA) 3nT#TCA":$d 4 ")UN UB)bQCqK A 0QaKAQwyKAQyKA( )X+w6 LU,Ax J JX e! 0 )b8GNLTC{<Qz{fQMg 0$xOeFe8  GF,@B4c4* z^p z^z^iYz^1z^bZ*z^p z^z^iYz^1z^bZ LLB 7MIPu2M@tThe disco is filled with remarkably similar guys, all looking for girls.Don't mess around, Larry. Get out there and dance with her!Perhaps they're waiting for Fawn to return.Not now, you're busy."Come on, Larry. What are you waiting for? I'm hot to get it on with you!"(What are you into this time, Larry?)"Either give me some money, or I'll leave without you.""That's it! See ya later, chump!"You smile at the girl and say, "May I join you?"And, of course she replies, "Why, am I coming apart?"(Drum fill)You are sitting.You are standing.The dance floor is lit from below with brightly colored lights. It is presently unused.Evidently every guy here has been turned down by the only girl in the place. Her beauty has them frozen in their tracks.There isn't one. This place is run by computer. (Besides, at this time of night DJ should be home with Chris.)Perhaps you should sit with her first.She might listen to you, if you can establish eye contact."Oooh, you're so sweet. I just love Sitting here brings back fond memories of those minutes you spent with Fawn.Your heart just isn't in it.You miss her, don't you?Gosh, Larry. Maybe you should have loaned her some money!Funny, this is a dry club."Not again. That trip through the ceiling gave me a headache!"You're being a little too direct again, Larry.There's a gorgeous blond sitting at the table, and she's all alone!You can't sit there; she would think you rude to take her chair.They seem to be staring at something they all want.You can't sit there; she would think you rude to sit on top of her.4[?Y 0!)Y+/6%8]F!)Y+/6%>1FLVB / /# #: E)YaYY[YYOae9)Q)Qe?O''O'._ _eeee2OO&'&&F'' | CFee(QQ Fee)e*  )O)Oddd` `ee.de/e0de1e+d e e!e"dae: e2eeee3e,)OOe'WOWe)J)OJ)JOe!e"#eO**:***O*eWWOO:O:O)e))+O+O8OOOOO'OO)O)O)O)OR!Je;SeS z KA8Ov8v8vO  D e G^ 8O88O  D e H^ 8O88O  D e I^8O8YOYYOYO8O8O8O>ae /Zde@e#e e$e%eASeeSZd } O OO)O)O)Oe&:O'aO'XO'O'OOaO:O/F/F:OO/FO:['e<O)OXXX'OU'aOO['O[[[exz]x!C)+/6 %>]#!C%]])+/6 #RnO, 4bb!)b%Fx+#F!)+%Lq#F%L#S Se  =r^ Eee" 5"eeZe&gggggeSe Se!5SS58S585Se'Qe")Qe#e%)Oe$OeAOeAO)8Q)Q8QY'O)Qee KKf KA8AC Uw&PA  PR '8KAwQPxKAw+:+<eeGCAeCAeCAeeCAe CAe e ZdA AeA e eCLy+QLKB A e+;QLKB A $ eeeeA e$ S UxL!Aee eZd nC+LyGQLKB AfeAg$e;GQLKB Ah e;N UDAi$  d RAx4c4 L!e' P Do Gz3d=,fvy U q L r  + q You are in a quickie marriage parlor. A flashing neon sign on the rear wall asks: "Why wait? Marry the girl of your dreams, today! You provide the girl, we'll do the rest for only $100!!"Fawn is waiting for you at the altar. Go for it, Larry!The minister intones in his basso voice..."Dearly beloved, we are gathered together today in the sight of, er, ah, um... each other, to enter these two people into the eternal bonds of marriage.""But before we really get rollin', I'd like to say a few words. Many's the marriage that I've performed here, in this little chapel, wearing this cheap suit, before those shiny plastic-covered pews, with these electric candles, looking at those genuine plexiglas stained-glass windows, for these measly few bucks..."(He pauses for another nip from his pocket flask.)"Where was I?" he hiccups."Digressing," you answer."Oh, well, have you got a ring?" he asks."Yep," you reply. "She's wearing it.""Good enough for me! Have you got a hundred bucks?""Of course," you reply, forking over your dough."Not me," you reply. "I thought this was a temple of love!""Sorry, buddy, you two are SOL until you can come back here with 100 cold, hard ones!" he says indignantly, as he pushes between you and heads for the door.Well, Larry, it looks like you're going to have to leave your new bride waiting at the altar, while you generate a little positive cash flow!As you leave, she says, "Hurry back, Larry, I don't know how long I can wait before I have you!""By the way, Larry," she asks. "What does SOL stand for?""Why, Sierra On-Line, I presume!" you respond.(Drum fill)"Wait here, Fawn baby! I'll be back in a flash!!""Ok, close enough. I now pronounce you man and wife, till death do you part, or until you get tired of each other, per the currently acceptable social standards!""You may kiss the bride," he says, scurrying out the door to refill his flask."Not now; that can wait," Fawn says with a smile. "I'll meet you at the Casino Hotel's honeymoon suite, and give you a lot more than kisses, my big, strong, handsome sweetheart!!""Hey!" you shout, "Wait for me!!"Somehow this entire ceremony was less than you expected. The sacred bonds of marriage certainly get tied loosely in this joint!It's customary to position yourself to the bride's right."So... shall we try again?"You can't see through the "stained glass" windows. They're fake, like everything else about this place.Seems like everything here is covered in plastic.The plastic covers are so slick, you'd probably slide right off.Perhaps you should find a mate, mate!You can barely tell they're made from pressed sawdust.Who'd want them?He looks a lot like his brother, the bad comedian in the Lizard Lounge."Make up your mind, son. Time is money!""Don't stand around talking, Larry," says Fawn. "Let's get married!!"What an old romantic!You wonder why Michelangelo didn't use dropped fluorescents on his big ceiling job.It's not your birthday!4  ?!X) //%MF#:!XC)6%I[/F!XC)+-6%Il4L4!XC)+-%Iv6!XC)6 -OU7 +1404F%I$#QIvKAd#:#)+6 &K'wA#:+/%Iv#:$&'h+&&'#N&K's&&'#C FnSx `eoj >W 'w'6 8Ee eeweee  6e eee ? eepp'e e e p'e e err% 6  7 /<\ C) 6e]<] 6eHH 6e 6eA%%O K%%O K%%O K%%O K%%O K%%O K%%O K%%O K%'%'eK KAA M U)/LuLV "IKA$)+/LVIKA$##FOe AeQI$KAL(Ae $$LUGKKAf( OA+#)+/%Lt#N ULT "L ejL$.Npv8.4;h7The entrance to the Cabaret Lounge is to the right, by the telephone. A glass elevator awaits you. An ashtray is in front of the planter.You are inside the glass elevator. Your favorite kind of music is playing. You hum along, insipidly.There are buttons labeled "one" through "eight."Type a word, like "one" or "two."Whee!You know, the people on those plants look like ants from up here."strangers in the night, da da da dee da..."Those ARE ants, you fool; we haven't left the ground yet!Wasn't that a fast ride!They're of your favorite species: polyvinyl chloride. There is an ashtray in front of the planter.You carefully remove the card from the cancerous remains in the ashtray. It's a valid pass to the disco!There's some kind of card in the ashtray.Yuck!Where?The doors close whenever you choose a floor.Go inside and push a button.It's of no interest.The ashtray is of no further interest since you have the card.It's not ringing.All the pages are torn out.Somebody filled the coin slot with chewing gum.You can't. It's so firmly embedded, nothing will get it out. You'll just have to find another telephone.4U"b !C)/6 %)n#!C)/6 %Nn#!C)/6 %sn#!C)/6%:#!C)/6%b#44?44 ҂( b!)/%M]#:B3!)/%)\#: b!)%F]# 4&'+&&'#N dr ? E>eeQ)QQe e'' eoepJJ8ee;FFepeMSee e e Q e e OO e e 'e:O':Q'O'Q'eeeNeOYa) Y'aeeggFgg5e)eM U)/6kdc 4I "&F!e C ")8k UN''Ng''&eP~v'eQ^ ved eKF "u u Q/] Q]]K KAA BlA;APBlAA/:<&4444eeeeee e!e"e#e$e%e&e'e(e)e* e+ e,e- e. e/ e0e1e2e3e4 e5e6e7e8e9e:e;eeLe?e@eAeBeCeDeEeFeGeHeIeJe]e^e_e`eaebec e`ea!ebec"eeef#egeh$eiej%ekel&emen eq/:<ACBA;c(IKA /:<; BA&ClAA/:<f4c4,*!A:Rf:::\eL#q8I[1R*Pcv$S'KmA =yU[  l ( L = s R /W$O$ `4UX hT~Ep/y B}%=UThis looks like a great place to be from.(You wonder where they keep the lizards.)You are sitting.You are standing.You can't. The card on the table says "Reserved."Looks like you won't have any trouble getting a seat tonight!You wonder who invented that little plastic net surrounding the glass.And, how come it doesn't melt?Evidently, HE thinks he's funny!Wouldn't you think they'd get tired of just going left and right?You think they look like men?Do you know something about his sexual habits that the rest of us don't?You shout to the comedian, "This ain't funny!"The comedian retorts, "But you are!!"The Lizard Lounge.You're not seated.There's no one to take your order.It's a living.You whistle loudly at the comic."Hey, buddy, will ya hold it down?" says the comic. "I'm tryin' to earn a living up here!""Whaddsa' matter, folks? Am I keeping you up?""You know, folks, it just don't get much better than this!""Waddaya out there, a painting?""Tough crowd. Tough crowd.""I shoulda never given up my day gig!""Waddaya waitin' for folks? This IS the 'A' stuff!""I just flew in from Coarsegold...""...and, boy, are my arms tired!""I told my doctor my sex life was boring. He said 'You need to add the element of surprise. Go right home this afternoon, grab your wife, and immediately make love to her, no matter what she's doing.' So I did!""It was still the same old boring stuff; but her bridge club got a tremendous kick out of it!!""You know how I can tell when my wife has an orgasm?""She drops her nail file!!""My wife is so ugly...""...the picture of her in my wallet is an X-ray!""I told my psychiatrist 'Nobody pays any attention to me.'""He looks at me and says, 'When did you get here?'""Didja hear about the clumsy female lawyer?""She dropped her briefs!""A man walks into a doctor's office with a frog on his head. The doctor says, 'May I help you?'""The frog says, 'Yeah, doc, take this wart off my ass!""Did you hear about the new, chocolate-flavored, contraceptive, breakfast drink?""It's called Ovumteen.""My secretary is both ambitious and horny. Today she asked me for a salary on next week's advance.""Down the street there's a new, live gay sex show.""It's called 'Anus and Andy.'""Have ya seen that new R-rated movie about midgets. It features full runtal nudity.""My uncle is a hit man for the Mob. What a great job! He only goes to work when it's time to knock off.""My brother just moved to San Francisco. He was really lonely when he lived here, but now he's up to his ass in friends!""When I got married I asked my bride, 'Do you perform fellatio?'""She says it depends on the fella.""Have you been by the wedding chapel next door? They've got this impotent flasher out front. We just call him our 'public futility.'""I hear the pimp at Lefty's won't let his girls perform oral sex. They call him the 'Headless Whoresman.'""What do lesbians like most about their kind of sex?""Tastes great.""Less filling.""Tastes great!""Less filling!""Why don't sharks attack divorce lawyers?""Professional courtesy.""My wife and I have a new system: if she wants sex, she reaches over and strokes me once.""If she doesn't, she reaches over and strokes me 300 times.""My son just got kicked out of his co-ed college boarding house."My daughter came home from school today and tells me, 'Eli Whitney invented the cotton gin.'""I said, 'Who wants a fluffy martini?'""The shop teacher asked the high school girl if she knew the difference between a screw, a nail and a bolt. She told him she'd never been bolted.""Have you heard about the new urologist's training film?""It's called, 'E.T., the Extra Testicle.'""Have you heard about the new film for marching band musicians?""It's called, 'Desperately Seeking Sousa.'""My son has a problem with compulsive masturbation. His psychiatrist says he's gone completely whacky.""My grandpa, the farmer, finally got himself one of those latex ladies. I heard him singing about it the other day: 'The farmer in the doll, the farmer in the doll...'""Our local inventor just came up with a new, vibrating tampon.""He says if women have to be miserable once a month, they might as well enjoy it.""My wife just loves going to the movies to watch teenagers get laid for the first time."At least the comic's whoopie cushion doesn't smell!"He got caught spreading roomers."This must be a "No Smoking" lounge.You whistle loudly at the girls.You're not sure, but you suppose they enjoy it.You're no star!You toss the rose on the stage. It falls where you will not be able to retrieve it."And, now, ladi... uh, gentleman," announces the comic, "we're proud to present the Magic portion of our act.""Let me just pick someone at random from our audience...""How about you," he says looking directly at you. "Would you like to participate in a little experiment in telepathy?"(Of course he's looking at you! You're the only one here!) You're game, so you answer, "Sure.""Great! Now Paul, my drummer and musical conductor for all these many years, will read your mind," says the comic. "Come on, Paul, show him your stuff!""I want you to concentrate on your billfold," Paul says. "Clear your mind, and think solely about the contents of your wallet."Since clearing your mind is no problem for you, Larry, you do so easily."I'm getting a message... I see something...""I've GOT IT!" he exclaims. "If you open your billfold you'll discover some wrinkled business cards, lots of notes, some credit cards (which won't work in this game), and exactly $%v90.00 in cash!!""Ladi... uh, GENTLEMAN!" shouts the comic. "PAUL THE MAGNIFICENT has done it again!!"Just to make sure, you take out your wallet and look inside..."Sometimes, she even watches the screen!""I asked my wife, 'How come you never tell me when you're having an orgasm?'""She replied, 'Cause you're never around!""My wife just loves to experiment. Last week she mixed speed with her Midol.""She had her period six times in one day!""My wife is a lot like Halley's Comet.""They both come once every 76 years!"Remember: you can't get it!"My son is becoming a real computer wiz!""His teacher called him a 'master byter.'""My uncle, the inventor, crossed a cucumber with a Mexican jumping bean.""He calls it the world's first organic vibrator!""Last week, I got arrested by a female cop. She asked me, 'Are you carrying a concealed weapon?'""I replied, 'Keep frisking me, and I soon will be!'""My best sexual encounter was in the South Sea Islands...""I pushed a volcano into a virgin!""Didja hear about the copier company that bought out a musical instrument maker?""They're gonna market a new, reproductive organ!""Thank you, thank you!"The girls' smiles beam!"Well, that's all I know, folks," the comic says. "Come back for the next show, and you can hear 'em all again!"4 !:bb! 6 ) + % 8j!)+/%.W#F!)+/%EW#F!)+/%]W#F!=)+%2  0:$e  E : e:  %  :$e&&&&22122&KK C 4  4f4" eeeZeA KK KAA W ]d 5c(Z:GGG BA F2ɂ BA F2ʂ BAF2    7: &# 5B#BB,A$$ A W ]Z 5c5  :$e : 0  W ]L mX YZ[u Press F4 to decrease bet. Press F6 to increase bet. Press F8 to pull handle. RESULTS PAYS |--------------------------------| | Cherry | | | 1 | | Cherry | Cherry | | 2 | | Cherry | Cherry | Cherry | 4 | |--------|--------|--------|-----| | Orange | Orange | | 2 | | Orange | Orange | Orange | 4 | |--------|--------|--------|-----| | Seven | Seven | | 3 | | Seven | Seven | Seven | 5 | |--------|--------|--------|-----| | Bar | Bar | Bar | 7 | |--------------------------------| You insert zero dollars, and pretend to pull the handle.You win zero dollars!Is this your idea of a good time?This machine has a $20.00 limit.You can't bet more than you have.It's an electronic slot machine. When you tire of playing, just type "stop."Don't be in such a hurry!Slow down!What are you? A "Type-A" personality?4Nc g? !8bbb!C%=7))! C ) % 6R-8e/ 0  E - O8O8Oe uuru2-e#eeZAe KA /-e, Ad KA Ke, jjr8rI-e,:88e,gj-e,[%  eZe KA/e,"  eZe KAxr_-e,Pe,Ce6 847 874eZe KA r6-e,'e,e e8''$'''P-eAv44e444eZe8 78&'2'&KKe F F-eOOe )O)Oe,   e-e.e/-Kt KA-A Z W34 4 48 8 48/#Bc5A$B A8B A8B A8B A8 8 %4 84  4   8ww igigYyZe Z8Nne iix 8 %4 84  4  Oe/8ee8 e 88B7# 56 A'88e e 8A$ A . Z8 4 48B A 8B A  8A Z8B A 8AeAeAe AeY    e e&A"  88Ay Z8B Az 8AAeA AY B    e* A$AA AA B 8A7B    8AA 8#e A8B# 5dAXe$8B!# 5e#e8AAe%eAA 81e A8B# 5LA@e(8B!# 5 e'8Ae)AA$ A 8AA8B,# 5AA8B,# 5A$   WAB-ZA8 KAd  KA KA  KA5$ 5Ac5AAAAAc5 8 0  WL 8/`Pj7Qat$.B[i .@]#2<GSblwxcYou are sitting at a blackjack table in the casino. There is a sign on the table titled "House Rules."Do you want insurance? Amount in dollars: $Please bet an even number of dollars (2, 4, 6, etc.). The house does not keep half-dollars.The dealer has blackjack!Surrendering your cards, you are refunded half of your bet.You bet zero dollars, receive zero cards, and win zero dollars and zero cents.You can play all night like this!Your insurance bet pays 2 to 1.Please answer "y" or "n".You are busted.The dealer busted.She's a beautiful young lady, but you vow to keep your thoughts on the game.It's a push!"Thanks for playing," says the dealer, finally cracking a smile. "Come back anytime."You lose!You have blackjack.Six cards make a winner.You can only when you have two cards."Please, no talking at the tables."That's not a pair."I'm sorry, Sir. We're not permitted to accept gratuities!"%m19double when you have 10 or 11 points.%m19split%m20%m19surrender%m20You don't have enough money!Don't be in such a hurry. Finish this hand first!It's too late now. This hand is already being played.You can't bet more than you have.$20.00 is the maximum bet at this table.Your first hand %m34is a push!%m34wins!%m34loses!%m34busted!%m43is a push!%m43wins!%m43loses!%m43busted!Your split hand Please wait until it's your turn. HOUSE RULES This table has a $20.00 limit. Bets must be a multiple of $2.00. Dealer must hit 16, and must stand on 17. Blackjack pays 1-1/2 to 1 odds. Any six cards under 22 wins. Insurance bets are offered whenever the dealer shows an ace. They are half your bet, and pay 2 to 1 odds. You may split a pair or surrender whenever you have only two cards. You may double down if your cards total 10 or 11 points. Press F4 when ready to play. Press F6 for another card. Press F8 to stand. To change the amount of your bet, type "change bet." 4)X6?C!XC)/6 %4L4!XC)6%IdF!XC)+-6%Ix4L4!XC)+-%I6!XC)6 -OUz* %I$%I +1404FO QI$KAO QIKA QIKAd##:0#)+6 &L'~&&'*#:+/%I#:#:+& '&&'#N)e IwS 6 8  ~ /EEwEe eKeeew eee? e e  ' eekk?k?? e "2:f:e!+RePoeeeee ;IM U$?ee $?'B?'e?'6' 6eN'e eeeA%%O K%%O K%%O K%%O K%%O K%%O K%%O K%%O K%'%'e UL)KB KAA M U)/L~LV "IKA$)+/LVIKA=$#0#AFO QI$KAO QIKAeAeAe $$LUGKKAf( OA+#)+/%L~#NLT " UAwL# L*I$I$#:0O QI$KAO QIKA QIKAd2 f1\|+QRSTwBj,w&?j +Lc E p You are in the Casino's hotel. Doors line each side, many with "Do Not Disturb" signs on their doorknobs.There's a door with a heart on it to the west.Not one for those long elevator rides, eh, Larry?You rap your knuckles on the door. There is no response, but now your knuckles hurt.Whee!Fawn's delicate voice booms out across the hotel: "Just a minute, Larry!""strangers in the night, da da da dee da..."There's a click as she unlocks the door, then a piercing "Come on in. The door's open."You can't. This door is locked.Subtly, you shout, "Here I come, baby!"It's a door not unlike all the others, except this one has a cute, trite, cracked, little, plastic heart stuck to it with a thumbtack.It's a door just like all the others.They almost look real, don't they?You seem surprised that the door is locked.You close the door behind you, and jiggle the knob to confirm it is locked.Type a word, like "one" or "two."There are buttons labeled "one" through "eight."You can't. There's no key in this game!Isn't it funny how the elevator is always waiting for you?The cheap, plastic heart is not worth the bother.Where?Fawn's sexy voice oozes through the door, "Oh, baby, it's you! You're back!!"There's a click as she unlocks the door. "Come on in, you wonderful hunk!"It's no good. The door resists all of your efforts.You contemplate expec- toration, but remember that discretion is the better part of valium....or helium,...or something.Suicide is illegal here.You rap your knuckles on the nearest door.This must not be the right door, Larry."Hey, Scott, the girls are here!!""It says 'Do NOT Disturb!' Can't you read?"You hear some extremely heavy breathing."Go away! I gave at the office!""Oh, Russ, there's someone at the door!" "They're gonna have to wait, Kim Baby! It's too late for me to stop now!!""Baaaaah. Baaaaah!" Don't even ask, Larry!"Oh, Bruce! Oh, Howard! Oh, Terri! Oh, Carrie!""Ken! Get off me, Ken!!""Oh, gawd, Ed!! Get in the closet. It's my husband!!""Bobbit, is that you?""Not now; I've got wessonality!""Is that Room Service? I didn't order anchovies."An eye appears at the peephole. "Hey, Mary! Isn't it a little early for Trick or Treaters?""Oh, gawd, Ed!! Get in the closet. It's my wife!!"Hmmm. Is that the smell of burning rubber?"Oh, Jeff. You really know how to hurt a guy!""Get away from him, you big bully! He's mine."4Lb!XC)+/6 %q4L4#: RR!X%[x)+#F,P!)+%Y_#:!)+%J|Q#:&|'&&'#NPo oe0 2u<} t} 6ub R E \ug~ KKK K KK  Ree-e7e8ggg-g-e+$"e,"5"e/B"j"e4))))Ye#[''Pee18[['$['"<["$m'<["8O[8[Oa['<[4Pe(e  6Re!e" ROe Pee)O:OaOaOOP :f:eeX'XUO&O<@''&-'-'<@'<O@'--9-9-9'')Pe e 6A Ke$e2e3%'%'' e-e.%E%%%%%%%%%& 6e& eP%%%2E% 6e% e eccd$c'c'dcdc3 e 'e 8 0 UN)+Y " #: Qee9e:e Q--- 6 \;$e $?e6 C;IM UBm'e5,.eeee} U "wCAeCAe'e;CAe(CAe*/CA(eZ Z Z) 0@#GQvKAF;IKA eGQKA $KKA Ae6~X >EvF>_6NH x  P b s ( B * r&MYour are in the casino hotel's honeymoon suite. The heart-shaped bed is just waiting for you and Fawn. The dim lighting provides the perfect atmosphere. You've always appreciated the "Early American Gaudy" look. There is a radio on the shelf behind the bed.This is the honeymoon suite. The heart-shaped bed would have been perfect for you and Fawn. Too bad things worked out like this!The radio interrupts the Frank Sinatra medley with an obnoxious singing commercial..."We're Ajax Liquor, and we're proud to say, we deliver all across the U.S.A.""You're out of luck if you want to dine, but if you just need booze, dial 555-8039!"Sounds like a nice mellow station..."And now, back to our music."Click.She doesn't appear to be in the mood yet, Larry.Good idea. Unfortunately, you have nothing with which to cut a rope, Larry.Right! Using the pocket knife you got from the old bum by the convenience store, you saw through the ropes holding you to the bed.You never know when a nice piece of rope will come in handy.Since you have no way of cutting the ropes, and they're far too tightly tied for you to loosen, it looks like this is the end for you, Larry.You can't. She fastened them quite securely!You can't. You're tied to a bed!She is so beautiful you want to do wonderful things to, er, ah, FOR her."You know, a little wine would help me get in the mood, Larry.""I'd think the least a gentleman would do is to buy a lady a bottle of wine."She looks ready, Larry.She says, "Lie down, Larry. I have a special surprise for you!"Then she says, "Close your eyes," and you do because you're sure that, finally, success is at hand."Oh, Fawn!" you moan.You grab your wallet and look inside. Oh, well. At least she didn't find the %v90 bucks you hid in that secret compartment. With your consummate gambling skills, you should be back on your feet in no time!You're tied to the bed and can't move.When Fawn has you securely tied to the bed, she grabs your wallet, saying, "You forgot to pay me for the wine," then heads out the door."FAWN! Come back!" you shout. "This isn't funny!!""Aren't you going to pour the wine?" she says, her eyes flashing."I'm ready when you are, honey!" Come on, Larry; what are you waiting for?She looks like she could use some of that wine.There's no wine here.Right. Sure. Pour another for her while you're at it!You grab the bottle, and fortify your courage with a long, hard belt!You carefully remove the bottle from the wine bucket, unscrew the cap, and pour two glasses. She downs her glass immediately, you refill it, and she does it again. Her eyes meet yours, and you're sure luck is with you this time!This room doesn't even have a telephone!It's pretty complicated. There's a knob that says "On."The radio IS off.The radio IS on."Ooh, Baby! That feels so good! Ooooooooooh!!""Hey, what's the deal with the rope?""Why are you tying me to the bed?"You have more important things on your mind than sitting.This window doesn't open.The tuning knob on the radio is stuck. Looks like you're stuck with the Easy Listening station.You can't move the knob, but it doesn't matter since the radio isn't on anyway!You see the lights of Lost Wages spread out before you."Oh, Larry, it's you!" Fawn says. "I thought it was that cute, young delivery boy again."Hmmm. Was "Tuesday" a good year?It's a table model, not a portable.Besides, the hotel bolted it to the table.You are unable to break the window.You can't. It's the same brand that people can't break when they want to christen a ship!Move closer to the handle.Don't you think a heart-shaped bed is trite?You can't. The delivery boy glued it to the table."FAWN!! You scum-sucking gutter slug, get back in here!"Unfortunately, your pleas go unheeded."Say, Fawn, when are you going to get undressed?"Hmmm. You wonder if there's any way a guy can "consummate" by himself?Larry, it looks like "the honeymoon's over."As she heads out the door, she laughs and says, "So long, turkey!"4L '?L QQ!XC6 )/%x#:4L4L!=XC)+6 OU%#:!XC)6%Id/F!XC)+-6%Ix4L4!XC)+-%I6!XC)6 -OU(8 +1404F%I#QIKAd#:#)+6 &L'&&'.#:+/%I#:M U +X&'u&&'#A KC  u L E IyS 6 8 ~p ox %XY KA KA%w&w$weL>V>FVF 6e w e e:V>V>FF 6Le e %$w?$w! 6Le e;I LD'  2OO&' CO''O'DAe28 6, ee3e4)O')O')O'm 6ae#Ue$e%e&e'e(e) e*e+e, e-e.e/e88O'$'8O')  D 6e# KA8O'8O' 6e#e5$?? 6e;'O[['#[[' 6e0e1)'W' 6e0e7mWWOO:O:O)eA))+O+O8OOO****O*eB)J)OJ)JOe+e,#eCWOWeDOO)O)O)8OOeE)OOeF:O'O)OXXX'OU'aOO['O[[[OOaO:O/F/F:OaO'XO'O''O':['eee@2eHeG'0FN0Fe?KILe <ee"%LeeLe e L:Oe9?w2Le %e eee"  0 0  eeeN'e>ekk?k?ee6!&&!e ?'6'e=$?e$?'B?'e<Ee eA%%O K%%O K%%O K%%O K%%O K%%O K%%O K%%O K%'%'eW 0"Q!)+/6%1MF!)+/6%0-LVFB / /# #:v 0"!#!=XC6 OU#:!XC6 #4L4:!XC6F!XC6 -OU#:!XC-64L4!XC-6#: G F/ !,Ve7  G  F/0<K KAA M U)/LLV "IKA$)+/LVIKA$##FOeAeQIKAL(Ae $$LUGKKAf* OA+#)+/%L#N U " #LTA/<G^eCA A KAA Le;+LUIKALTG+-QK8C<eAQKAe!$AA;IKA: N UA ;KKAA:A :;KKAM Me L, :H?ou6$=nq!D L; Y  >  - C W  B a " X ~ 9m)}Bc%m14 A beautiful security guard sits behind a desk.She takes one look at the bottle of Spanish Fly and says, "Boy, thanks! How did you know that I love this stuff?!" She tosses down a couple of pills, then a few more, and finally gulps the whole bottle! Her breathing becomes faster and faster until she begins to pant.She is a knockout! But that pair of pistols slung around her hips brings a sense of foreboding to your gut.(Looks like tonight's your lucky night, Larry.)Whee!The rumors were right. You are quick on the trigger, Larry!"strangers in the night, da da da dee da...""Try it, and I'll blow your head off."There are buttons labeled "one" through "eight."Evidently, this exit is for employees only. You'd better use the elevator.The beautiful security guard is sitting at the desk. A pair of large pistols are in a holster around her slim waist. She looks friendly, but quick on the trigger.Since you're no longer staring at Faith's ample weapons, you notice an unlabeled button on her desk.Oh, oh. Where are we goin' now, Larry?You are at the top floor of the hotel.%m14 That desk is where you lost your Faith, remember? (So glad there was a chance to use THAT line!)A brass plate near the elevator says: "Private.""Hi, my name's Faith. Nice suit!""Bad breath's one thing, Mister; but, you could knock a buzzard off a manure truck!""Touch that button, and you're dead meat, White-Suit!""So long!" Faith says. "I've got to find my boy friend before this stuff wears off!"The penthouse elevator doors glide open.The doors are securely closed. %m16 There is no button nearby.Type a word, like "one" or "two."It's a door just like all the others.They almost look real, don't they?You contemplate expec- toration, but remember that discretion is the better part of valium....or helium,...or something.You run to the nearest door, and rap your knuckles loudly. You run right back to where you were.You seem surprised that the door is locked.(She is, of course, referring to the use of her gun, Larry.)"Larry," you reply, getting your hopes aroused (among other things).It appears Faith IS true to her name. Twisting her key in the lock, she disappears down the employee stairs.The doors are open. Go on in.She might listen to you, if you can establish eye contact."Hi ya, Baby. I think I loves ya!!""May I help you in some way, Sir?" she responds in a pleasant, but businesslike voice."My name is Larry," you offer. "Larry Laffer.""Say, Larry," she says with a smile, "Is that a roll of dimes in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?""Hey, sweetheart. What's your sign?" you ask her."'EXIT," she replies. "Try using it!""What's your name, beautiful?" you ask."Faith," she replies.Hmmm. Unusual name."I'm only in town for one night," you try again. "How about we get together when you get off duty?"She smiles and says, "Oh, I could never be unfaithful to my boyfriend."(Larry, it seems this one's gonna require outside assistance.)Try looking at the girl first.They are a beautiful pair, aren't they?Not now, you're busy.Her sweater reveals she's built like a brick shipyard."Stop staring there," she says softly."Really? I'm not that kind of girl."Evidently the rooms on this floor are all unoccupied.Her eyes are as sensuous as her lips.You're a man of the world, Larry. Perhaps some sort of medical stimulant would help.She waves back.The glass elevator only goes down from here. How about you?"I'm sorry, but I can't."It's no good. The door resists all of your efforts.You can't. There's no key in this game!Suicide is illegal here.There's no need to do that."Usually when I'm with someone romantic!" she replies."You know, I'm supposed to be working!"Her hair is thick and beautiful, falling in cascades around her delicate shoulders."So what?"Her lips are moist and inviting, but then, you also felt that way about old Mr. Weissenborn, your high school shop teacher!I'm sorry," Faith replies, "but you don't know me that well!""Well, now. Isn't THAT special!""Perhaps," she says, "but right now, I'm working.""I'll be here all night."4oD T QQ5!XC)6 %HY#:!)+%:\#!XC)+6%_i!XC%;j)6 #%w 0b!=XC)6%Mv#Qv &'a'a''&&'# /Zo{  ;ZV\ EL%%%%e. # # # #%%%%e- $ $ $ $'   e/2O'hO C(''O'>e2 &eee)')O'^eReFeee!e"e ee#e$e%8O_'8_') eeeA K8O'8O'ee)'))+O+OW'eeea['<['<['<O[')Oa['eee&e'['m['"'eee+['m['"'eee,' 6e(@e)@eAO**:***O*WWOO:O:O))JOO)O)O)8OO)OOWOW)OJ)JOaO'OOaO:O/F/F:OO/FOO[['#[aOU'<'&''':['e2O)OXXX'OU'aOO['O[[[e2e4:O''8OOO'e#e3&'''5'&''''5'N'N''''<@'o@''QeE e KAd5 C K /l;qA! ;Z]d Me]q r]AA ee eehKee e e e e ee 0"Q! ) + / % ! ) + / % (! ) + / % P!)+/%x# # # #!)+/%@O!=)+/%@,LVB / /# #:T 0"!XC6 #:!XC6 #!#!XC6#!X6)+1404F# G F/<!,a Bee7  G  F/0<Kl KA U 0wA 8!rR&!8KA 8 ^R '8KAQ^fKA)+/64L4 "IKBBBA#A)+/LUQUfKA1404F " #MVfCA xeAAeC A KAfAf+/BLBB " #IKAg)+1404Zg "KKBLBB Ah$Ai U " 0Ax8Y)LTOTNA X T^/<CAeCAeCAeCAeCA A KAA;4L4IKBBBA;$A.)+8NZLTGQZZKe+/-4L4 " #IKAQiiKAeFA0'"#)FU # ")+8-`h"#LTOTQzKA$LTOTQzKA 0L,E44 GS( 0 U N$xe?M? Me*e0e1cL,4(ju^ Wu Nx; * F / ]  E g   B P ] The moon lights an expansive rooftop garden with a spa in one corner. You've found the source of the gurgling noise!Wasting no time, you hop into the water. Oooh, does it feel good! The warm water swirls about you, the bubbles stimulating you nearly as much as the beautiful woman across from you. With the warmth of the water soaking into your body, you become quite relaxed.Wow! Just the way you like your women: nearby and naked! She has a beautiful tan, and a gorgeous body. You've waited a lifetime for this moment.What a beautiful face! She's leaning back, relaxing in the spa with the water bubbling up around her. It's even possible you could become sexually aroused by this!Eve takes your apple, and with a sweet, innocent look, raises it to her mouth. She takes a small bite out of it, while a sexy smile comes across her face. She winks, and lies back in the water, chewing delicately.Eve gently moves her sensuous tongue around the apple, tiny drops of the apple's juice glistening on her lips.In the hot tub is the most beautiful girl you've ever seen! Beside her is her towel, and swim suit. You can't believe she doesn't mind your presence here.You have no apple.Looking over at the next hotel, you notice an ugly girl getting undressed.She's not really that pretty.Well, she's looking better.You know, she's not that bad.You could ignore some of her faults.Perhaps you're in love!Pant, pant, pant, pant, pant.Something tells you that's the wrong approach with this one, Larry.She's really turning you on! You had no idea fruit could be so exciting."Bad breath's one thing, Mister; but you could knock a buzzard off a manure truck!"Nah. Who wants to go hot-tubbing alone?"Hey, handsome, why don't you slip into the water with me, so we can REALLY get to know each other!"Her hand is resting near a fluffy, white, expensive bath towel, embroidered in florid script with the name: "Eve."You can take a hint. "Let's go, baby!" you whisper!"This water feels SO good!"After finishing the apple, Eve slowly slides out of the hot tub, her steamy, naked body glistening in the moonlight. Barely covering her tremendous assets with the towel, she smiles and motions for you to follow her."Who loves ya, baby?""So long, baby!" you shout!As you leave the hot tub, Eve speaks at last, "Say, Larry. You really ARE glad to see ME!!"It's difficult to take your eyes off the beautiful woman with whom you share the hot tub.She says nothing, but that smile tells you a lot.Perhaps if you establish eye contact first..."What's your name, gorgeous?" you ask."Have you ever tried it underwater?" you coyly ask.She doesn't say."What's your sign, dollface?" you ask.At last she speaks. "Yield," she says simply.Although she smiles, it appears she's a woman of few words. She's waiting for you to determine what it is she wants!"Share your wine with me?" you ask.She hands you the glass, and you take an uncustomarily small sip. She replenishes it from the bottle, so it appears no different than before.It appears she doesn't like that!She wouldn't like that.Say; what's this? A beautiful woman all alone in a hot tub! And, she's smiling at you? And, and...Why take it, when you can drink it?It looks like a bottle of fine champagne, suitable for two.They ARE off.They ARE on.Her gold bracelet is engraved with the word "Eve."...and, she speaks, "Hi, handsome. Where have you been all my life?"(Larry, this one seems to LIKE you!)SLAP!"Oooh, I like that name!"SLAP! SLAP!!4d!XC)/6 %4L4#:$w 0 Ub!=XC)%7_#Q{  UA K!)%}#+ &'}"- &b'd&'+:NA K&&'# AQeegge 9e E'e $?e 5"5"e$w% 6e CA KK KAA;IKA: A ;KKAAAe :;KKAfL*AQ(xKAQxKA 0L+AQ#}KAQe+-e/-e)e*g-gg-e&2e e e  8_8_W8_W]^8^\X'\X'\'\'^'U'U'^'X'X2  D&ee ee  &  Dqe  D$?$2ee?22e'e 6&oe22&ee e e + e% e e \ e $2'2'e# a'a'e,,','8`e )WWO::O)))+O+8O****O*)J)OJ)J#WOW)))8OO)OOa:/F:OO[['#[O)XXX'U'aOO['O[[[e" qe-&z e, eK  KAACAC" 4!C)-!C)-!C)-!C)-8  ɂʂ˂ CAeCAeB Ae.!C)-+%#QBKA+CAeQKA$eCA e CA e!ee$Ae )GQnKAfQkKAgQKAh 0L, :$6,6/F x!& !#(n!R !8 I $$6,6/F x!& !#(n!R !8 I $$6,6/F x!& !#(n!R !8 I $$6,6/F x!& !#(n!R !8 I $ $ e "!#!XC6 4L4#:4^ UwM 0 " #AdB !=XC)6 %td# Qd  C ;I C ;K  e~ ~" c4c4L,.g ^ /Tk.D?R?k  , d < The penthouse bedroom is quite deluxe.Didn't your Mother tell you that doing that would make you go blind?Geez, Larry. Do we have to?Now?! When she's waiting for you on the bed??It is open.It's not open.There's no inflatable doll out here.All right, you asked for it. In fact, you've asked for it twice! Here we go...Got her!Selecting your own personal favorite from the three available openings, you shyly try out the doll. This has to be the kinkiest thing you've done in a long time, Larry. You gradually increase your tempo as you lose your inhibitions (not to mention your self-esteem). Faster and faster you go, until suddenly, there's a loud, flatulent sound...You lost her, remember!You've found a closet full of uninteresting stuff, plus one inflatable doll.The rest of the closet is rather dull compared to the inflatable doll.Walking out of the closet, you clumsily catch your new friend on a protruding nail! There's a loud, flatulent sound, and...The closet is closed.You huff, and you puff, and you blow your doll up. Holding her out at arm's length, you pause to admire your handiwork......somehow you expected more.What more would you want to see?Move closer to the handle.Move out of the way of the door first.Go get her, Larry.It's another one of those boring works of modern art; this one is signed "Mark Crowe."The bedspread is made of genuine, 100 per cent, acrylic zebrahide.Congratulations, Larry!!! You've done it!! You've successfully completed your evening in Sierra World, lost your virginity, and emerged victorious!Of course, your feelings of success are short-lived, since this is where Ken Williams has to tell you about our soon-to-be-released sequel. Hey, Ken! Come here, and give 'em your pitch..."Hi, folks! Remember, coming to this very computer Real Soon Now, is the next installment in the saga of Larry Laffer, traveling software salesman. I'd tell you the name now, but we haven't made one up yet! (Be sure to pick up a few extra copies, just in case our disk copier is screwed up again!)"Oh, wait. We almost forget to tell you how well you played.You can't bear the thought of deflating your new friend, so you don't!What fun is an uninflated inflatable doll?...thanks for playing, and be sure to tell each and every one of your friends to buy their own personal copy of this game.Move inside the closet.You played ok, I guess!On behalf of Mark and Sandy, Al and Marg, Jeff and Chris, Russ and Kim, Larry and Bob, Ken and Roberta, Bob and Marilyn and/or Bob and Jeannine, John and Mary, Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice...Don't you find it difficult to have a meaningful relationship with latex?OK.Love ya, baby!Sorry. One's your limit!You don't have time to rest!You are standing.Perhaps if you first established mouth/latex contact...Picking up the corner of the expensive, vinyl, zebra-skin bedspread, you discover......nothing.You can't. It's screwed to the wall.That's not what she's for, Larry....and that's exactly the way she used to look!Ladies and gentlemen... Mr. Ken Williams!4 !j ! !-  . @ R d v ; 57 57569{567 !99c(]7 & 7 ' 77'7    h&444ZZ ZZe ? i!i!::: h! : mgmA 7bBet is $%v226.00 You have $%v90.00Bet is $%v225.00 You have $%v90.00Bet is $%v255.00 You have $%v90.00Congratulations, you've broken the bank. This casino has a limit of $250.00 per person, and you've reached it. No more for you, Larry!Dealer=%v222 Player=%v223 Split=%v224 4U)Ȧ444ZZ ZZe  igig 5Bet is $%v200.00 You have $%v90.00Congratulations, you've broken the bank! This casino has a limit of $250.00 per person, and you've reached it. 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